Ugh, I went outside again. What a stupid decision. I need to not do that again until sometime in October.
Wash: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next? Zoe: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up. Wash: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.
'Objects In Space'
Natter 75: More Than a Million Natters Served
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Dana - Jul 23, 2017 1:35:11 pm PDT #14298 of 30002
I haven't trusted science since I saw the film "Flubber."
Jesse - Jul 23, 2017 2:38:29 pm PDT #14299 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
OK, people who have had someone with dementia (and people who haven't, I guess): Which is the more offensive question? 1. Does he/she recognize you? or 2. Are you over being sad?
Calli - Jul 23, 2017 2:47:55 pm PDT #14300 of 30002
I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul—Calvin and Hobbs
Neither's charming, Jesse, but I'm going with 2. Depending on the relationship, the first one could be someone close wondering about the progression of the disease. No excuse for the second one.
Dana - Jul 23, 2017 2:48:11 pm PDT #14301 of 30002
I haven't trusted science since I saw the film "Flubber."
Who the hell would ask #2? "Hey, how's your grieving process going? You reached acceptance yet?"
Jesse - Jul 23, 2017 2:56:22 pm PDT #14302 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
I will say, I understand why people ask #1, because EVERYONE asks it, but it's a really hard question to answer for most people, I would think. Like, my father has basically no reaction to anything, so how would we know? But what about the woman whose mother spends all day asking her, "Are you my daughter? Are you my sister? Are you my mother?" I mean, clearly she knows she's someone.
And #2, I can imagine myself asking a close friend, in the middle of a longer conversation. But yikes.
Dana - Jul 23, 2017 2:59:51 pm PDT #14303 of 30002
I haven't trusted science since I saw the film "Flubber."
Yeah, I was assuming this was someone only slightly involved in the situation. Of course it's appropriate to talk about your grieving process with friends or family.
If not, it seems offensively intrusive to me. Not that the other one's much better.
Steph L. - Jul 23, 2017 3:06:04 pm PDT #14304 of 30002
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine
Yikes, "Are you over being sad?" is not okay under any circumstances. If someone is close to you, that line of questioning would be okay if it were worded much differently.
Sue - Jul 23, 2017 3:20:25 pm PDT #14305 of 30002
hip deep in pie
Ugh. What Steph said. Who says things like that?
Jesse - Jul 23, 2017 3:56:50 pm PDT #14306 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Oh, so here's the shocker: my mother is much more upset by #1! Maybe it was the context for the other one, but she's gotten it more than once!
Consuela - Jul 23, 2017 4:16:30 pm PDT #14307 of 30002
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix
OK, people who have had someone with dementia (and people who haven't, I guess): Which is the more offensive question? 1. Does he/she recognize you? or 2. Are you over being sad?
They're both terrible. I admit that I haven't actually gotten asked those questions, mostly.
But as you note, Jesse, it's often hard to tell if they know who you are. Or they know you're someone important, they're just not sure who. I think of it as becoming unmoored in time, so Dad could have thought I was his daughter, or his wife, or his sister, or his mother at any given time.
And you know, it didn't bother me that much. I mean, it's sad, but it wasn't his fault. It's not like he could have remembered who I was if he tried harder. My sister felt really bad about it, but I was okay with it mostly, since he reacted to me the same either way.