Zoe: Uh huh. River, honey? He's putting the hair away now. River: It'll still be there... waiting.

'Jaynestown'


Natter 75: More Than a Million Natters Served  

Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.


Jesse - Jul 23, 2017 2:56:22 pm PDT #14302 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

I will say, I understand why people ask #1, because EVERYONE asks it, but it's a really hard question to answer for most people, I would think. Like, my father has basically no reaction to anything, so how would we know? But what about the woman whose mother spends all day asking her, "Are you my daughter? Are you my sister? Are you my mother?" I mean, clearly she knows she's someone.

And #2, I can imagine myself asking a close friend, in the middle of a longer conversation. But yikes.


Dana - Jul 23, 2017 2:59:51 pm PDT #14303 of 30002
I haven't trusted science since I saw the film "Flubber."

Yeah, I was assuming this was someone only slightly involved in the situation. Of course it's appropriate to talk about your grieving process with friends or family.

If not, it seems offensively intrusive to me. Not that the other one's much better.


Steph L. - Jul 23, 2017 3:06:04 pm PDT #14304 of 30002
this mess was yours / now your mess is mine

Yikes, "Are you over being sad?" is not okay under any circumstances. If someone is close to you, that line of questioning would be okay if it were worded much differently.


Sue - Jul 23, 2017 3:20:25 pm PDT #14305 of 30002
hip deep in pie

Ugh. What Steph said. Who says things like that?


Jesse - Jul 23, 2017 3:56:50 pm PDT #14306 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

Oh, so here's the shocker: my mother is much more upset by #1! Maybe it was the context for the other one, but she's gotten it more than once!


Consuela - Jul 23, 2017 4:16:30 pm PDT #14307 of 30002
We are Buffistas. This isn't our first apocalypse. -- Pix

OK, people who have had someone with dementia (and people who haven't, I guess): Which is the more offensive question? 1. Does he/she recognize you? or 2. Are you over being sad?

They're both terrible. I admit that I haven't actually gotten asked those questions, mostly.

But as you note, Jesse, it's often hard to tell if they know who you are. Or they know you're someone important, they're just not sure who. I think of it as becoming unmoored in time, so Dad could have thought I was his daughter, or his wife, or his sister, or his mother at any given time.

And you know, it didn't bother me that much. I mean, it's sad, but it wasn't his fault. It's not like he could have remembered who I was if he tried harder. My sister felt really bad about it, but I was okay with it mostly, since he reacted to me the same either way.


Jesse - Jul 23, 2017 4:37:46 pm PDT #14308 of 30002
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

Yeah, I can see both sides of that. I never had that experience, so who knows what I would have thought.


Matt the Bruins fan - Jul 23, 2017 5:25:41 pm PDT #14309 of 30002
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand

I can see concern motivating the first question, even if it's a touchy subject. I don't know WTF thought process would lead to asking the second.


aurelia - Jul 23, 2017 7:01:18 pm PDT #14310 of 30002
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.

Which is the more offensive question? 1. Does he/she recognize you? or 2. Are you over being sad?

Damn. Very few people would have any excuse approaching #2, and really shouldn't ask #1 unless the conversation has gone deep enough already.

In IL we may have corrupt politicians but at least they get sent to jail (Some of thrm)

Another reason why 45 is scared of Chicago! Every now and then I imagine the conniption Blago must be having, watching the antics of 45 and Co.


Gudanov - Jul 23, 2017 7:39:09 pm PDT #14311 of 30002
Coding and Sleeping

I'm starting to feel like the whole collusion with Russia to influence the election may not end up going anywhere. It seems pretty likely that 45 will fire Mueller and that will just leave the Senate and House investigations which the Republicans will slow-walk and bury.