Zen, may they get that under control and up your hemoglobin (I'm assuming that is the direction it needs to go) quickly. After that - you have used up your medical emergency allotments for the year. Ok, ok, yes, if you fall down another volcano, you can have them take you to the ER, but then you are just repeating yourself.

CamelCase is when you capiTalize letters in the midDle of a word.

Oh my giddy aunt. Why? Why would you EVER do that unless you are a 12 year old?

Here, Motivation, here. Come to Suzi. Quit running away. Stop pulling on your leash. Sit. Stay.

My mom's heart surgery is tomorrow morning, and the extended family is driving me insane. I've had various family members tell me to call them when surgery is over, 1 wants an email when surgery is over, and 1 wants a Facebook message when surgery is over.

I told everyone "I will send a text when surgery is over, because there are so many people who want to be updated that the easiest way to do that is to send a group text." Random Cousin In Akron Who I Don't Even Know replied with "I check Facebook messages on my phone -- send me a Facebook message." Bitch, you have a phone, so you can clearly receive texts. Leave me alone.

I am perhaps a bit tense. But seriously, I'm not contacting people through 4 different methods. If you don't want a text, you don't get updated.

I mean, I'll call my brother, but that seems like something that everyone should understand. If you aren't my brother, you don't get a phone call, so fuck off.

Yikes, Zen. Stop losing blood right now!

My mom's heart surgery is tomorrow morning, and the extended family is driving me insane.

I mean, I'll call my brother, but that seems like something that everyone should understand. If you aren't my brother, you don't get a phone call, so fuck off.

You do whatever is easiest for you. If Facebook cousin keeps pushing tell him to ask someone on the group text to FB message him. There is no reason that can't be delegated to someone not!Teppy.

That crud aside - Teppy, I wish your mom the smoothest surgery possible with bonus easy healing. I also send you calming~ma through all of this.

Health~ma, Zen. I hope they get the bleeding problem under control quickly.

Surgery~ma for your mother, Steph. And back-off~ma for the various cousins who can't be bothered to check a text.

I also send you calming~ma through all of this.

I am not very calm as of today. I was pretty good at logic-ing my way through this until now. And all the logic is still true, but my lizard brain is like "NOPE PANIC NOW IGNORE WORK AND PANIC."

And everyone who doesn't want a text will just have to wait. (I'm just expecting that Facebook Cousin will start sending me FB messages around noon tomorrow. And I'm going to delete them.)

Report them as spam and see if facebook will delete the account. Then she'll HAVE to find things out via another method!

Yikes Zen! Wishing no bleeding and industrious marrow your way!

Fuck that noise, Tep, your relatives can organize their own post-operation alternative communications tree after your text. That is so not your responsibility. Surgery~ma for your ma.

I hope you are done with that meeting Dana.

I'm off to get an orthotic for my tendinitis (really, that's how you spell it? Ok, autocorrect, if you say so, but it looks wrong). I left work early yesterday because I got a same day appt with my doctor, and I'll be in late today because the podiatrist doesn't open until 9 and closes at 5 and closes for lunch, and I'll be leaving early tomorrow to get to the airport on time and taking the rest of the week off for my niece's graduation. It's barely like working, but not at all like a vacation.

Blood-on-the-inside-of-your-body~ma, Zen! Be fruitful and multiply hemoglobin! Or welcome your new immigrants, I suppose. Fill those arteries and veins up somehow.

Heh, and I also have an author emailing me to say "I need to speak with you over the phone. Give me your phone number so that I can call after I am out of the OR." And here's the thing(s): (1) 9.75 times out of 10, whatever issue the author has does not require a phone call to resolve; and (2) I'm not giving my cell number to a stranger (though, to be fair, the author doesn't know I work from home and probably thinks they would be calling the AMA offices).