We had a mandatory all-staff meeting on Tuesday ... our big boss has mastered how to cut off the one guy who likes to blather for extended periods of time AND cut off his displaying tiny unreadable charts (really - dark gray on light gray is NOT a good idea). But I am always surprised by the number of people who cannot sit still for extended periods of time - twitching, rocking back and forth in their chair, twirling in their chair ... makes ME twitchy.

My boss just declared it "Make Faith & Sara Mad Day."

It's been that kind of morning.

But I am always surprised by the number of people who cannot sit still for extended periods of time - twitching, rocking back and forth in their chair, twirling in their chair ... makes ME twitchy.

I'm one of those. I have to fidget if I'm sitting for a long period of time, otherwise I'll fall asleep. I try to fidget quietly, like tensing & releasing leg muscles, but sometimes that's not enough.

We just started having "fidget toys" available during meetings, supposedly to stimulate creative thought. They're very popular. I just fiddle with my pen and doodle, since those have been my mechanisms for a long time.

I can't sit still for long periods of time. I either twirl pens or play with a fidget cube, and fortunately I work in an office where standing up to pace back and forth during a meeting is a totally normal thing to do.

I wish pacing during meetings was ok here! It almsot is, but not quite.

Red Robin has thoroughly disappointed me. I saw yesterday as I was leaving work that I had a Reward of a free dessert with $10 purchase, and I was gonna jump on that and order to pick up on my way home but it was too hard to do that from my phone so I thought I'd do it today for lunch but the Reward has already expired. Boo.

I totally need a fidget cube.

I think the Lexapro is starting to kick in, my anxiety is not at high alert at the moment. But my brain is so used to being anxious that it doesn't know what to do with calm. It's looking around for the threat it can't see yet. It seems so over-dramatic to think of it in terms of PTSD, but maybe not. Bad things have happened to me, and my life has changed a lot. Fucking "it takes time".

Connie, that's how the Lexapro has worked for me. A gradual dialing-down of my high-alert anxiety.

It seems so over-dramatic to think of it in terms of PTSD, but maybe not. Bad things have happened to me, and my life has changed a lot.

I think you're not over-dramatic, and even if "PTSD" feels like too loaded of a term, you're right that a lot of traumatic shit has happened to you. I think your assessment is probably pretty correct. And I'm glad the Lexapro is helping.

Continuing adventures in reality TV:

The downside of having Say Yes to the Dress on in the background where I work is that I want to kill this woman.