So this year...which is more than just 2015 sucking, the end of 2014 sucked too. I had a tooth removed, I had a horrible flare up of painful bladder syndrome. I missed a lot of work.
I then got sick. Really really sick with viruses, and simultaneous ear infections and sinus infection and another virus, or possibly the same. And a post viral cough that was bad enough to get tested for pertussis. Which I didn't have.
I missed a lot of work. A LOT.
My relationship was ending.
I took a leave from work. Ended my relationship of 7 years. Tried to work on my anxiety and accept a diagnosis of PTSD due to chidlhood medical trauma and bullying instead of (or possibly in addition to bipolar disorder). I tried to go back to work. I had an anxiety attack bad enough to land me in the hospital.
I was in therapy a lot. I managed some times only 4 hours of work a week but then I got up to 12. And I hurt my knee. I was extremely isolated. I decided to move to NC where my family is centered. That was it's own stress.
I quit my job instead of trying to transfer. My short term disability has been screwed up since day one and I'm still waiting to find out if they'll pay me for June 1 to September 30. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know.
But I learned some things about myself. I'm closer to people and interacting with them more (which is hard). My finances are a mess and I need a car and I'm 42 and instead of being an upbeat year it's one where I've felt beat down over and over.
My goal for December is find a therapist. Find a shrink and figure out when or if or how I can start working. Right now I'm not sure what's going to happen.
The bright spots are: lots of hugs from my nephew. And becasue of some of the things I've learned about myself I've found a group ..maybe..to socialize with here in NC. Maybe.
Also lots of hugs from my nephew.