I thought I posted, but my computer started having a fight with the Internet.

My package came! With five different kinds of snacks (which I've already nommed my way through half of) and two skeins of really beautiful nice yarn. Thank you Calli!

You're welcome, Emily!

I bought my secret santa's last gift tonight. Really hope to get to post office Monday but it may have to be sent from Michigan.

Calli, the cheesy pub mix was maybe the best thing ever. I had about three bites and immediately started regretting that it would be gone so soon.

I'm glad you liked it, Emily. I've never tried it, but it looked like it should be good.

Just so my Secret Santa knows, I'll be away from 12/22-12/26. I've put a hold mail order on anything coming in via the USPO, and my cat sitters will bring in any boxes they see on my doorstep. So if you don't see me commenting on my present in a timely manner, it's not because it's lost--just delayed a bit.

I've probably cried more this year than any since my Mom died. ita, Ginger and my friend Cat all died this year and they all felt like cruel losses. In my mind I find myself reaching for each of them and then that sharp pang of loss again.

I've also watched two of my friends try to rebuild their lives, after they lost everything.

My friend Rio's (Facebook!Rio) old career as a literary agent is actually having a really good year. Her ex-clients include Melissa Rosenberg (Jessica Jones), Phyllis Nagy (screenwriter for the movie Carol), and Charlie Kaufmann are all showing up on year-end best-of lists. She's finally seeing a Lyme Disease specialist this week, the first time she's seen a doctor in years after being rather brutally treated within the medical system. There's evidence that she probably has a Lyme co-infection (Babeosis, a protozoan blood infection) and she'll be more extensively tested than she ever has before. Just to get a positive diagnosis would be huge, and a treatment plan would be even more amazing. She's been so beaten down by her disease, and this is the best chance she's had to regain her health so that's hopeful at least.

And my friend Alberta, my fav bartender, lost her apartment and was forced out of San Francisco and is barely scraping by in Stockton now, and she feels so defeated. Somebody that's so joyous and talented and interesting. It's hard to see.

But to be honest, this has actually been a good year for me in many ways. Both Emmett and Matilda are thriving, which is by far the most important thing to me. They're both cheerful, engaged, curious, loving, playful goofs. There are plenty of stumbles and mis-steps and the usual bruises and bangs but really I just feel so lucky to be their father.

JZ has had a tough year in some ways with probably more loss in her life than she's ever had to experience before. And her work has gotten much more stressful. But work has also given her a promotion and a raise and lots of acknowledgement and appreciation for her work - which is in stark contrast to the years she worked with "rage-nurse."

And as for myself, my friend Ellen's Kickstarter (that Buffistas supported so well) has regrouped and gone in a different direction, and it looks like they have found some Angel Investors (knock wood). So the freelance work I've been doing for them is going to be a salaried job for the next few months at least, and could turn into something a lot bigger.

I also went to LA twice this year, for my usual Tom Waits tour, but also a Bubblegum presentation at Pasadena Public Library. And got to spend time with Scola, and Pix and Drew which was a very nice bonus. Got to see a lot of Buffistas this year which has really been great.

Also, got to go to NYC for the first time since before 9/11 and it was really moving to be there again. The first city that I ever loved.

Y'all, I just came back from the best work Christmas party in the history of ever.

Ok, maybe from the outside it wasn't much. But one of the people I serve at that house went in for brain surgery at the beginning of the month to excise a tumor on her pituitary gland. After getting out of the hospital, she went to say with her mom to recover. We've gotten phone calls from her saying hello and giving updates on her condition, etc. I haven't seen her in three weeks. When I walked in, she was there, met me at the door with a big hug. I was so happy to see her. The party was lovely in a low-key way, but seeing that person just made me so happy.

I wept, ugly crying I fear, all the way home. How much of that was relief and how much was joy I can't really say. But I hope all of us who need a bit of good news can share in this with me.

Oh Andi, I got goosebumps just reading about it. Thank you for sharing the lovely moment.

I came home to 3 packages at my door and a gift from a local friend. THIS IS THE BEST.

I think 2 of the packages are from my secret santa and I think I am going to hole off on opening them. I have a feeling I am going to need pick me ups in the next 3 days and THOSE WILL BE THEM. Also, I have been using my scentsy every night with the pine and it smells SO GOOD!

The third package was my sponsorship goodies from Con Man, a t-shirt and a poster signed by Alan. I think I now need to get the poster Jesse got me signed by Nathan and frame these two to hang beside each other.

Twin posters is an excellent idea, msbelle