I can get Jackson into the carrier since he's so eager to get down from being held that he'll dart into it to get away from me. But the one time I put Molly in a carrier she bit me hard enough to draw blood through leather gloves. She's only going back to the vet if she's too sick and weak to put up a fight.

The soft carrier that unzips in three places does seem easier than the hard carrier, although securing everything with the cat inside can be challenging.

Everything I've seen made to transport cats seems to imagine that the cat will be staying still, not turning into a frantic flying ball of claws and teeth. For creatures that love to hide in small dark places, boxes with doors on them shouldn't be DOOM.

I just got a voicemail from that IRS imposter scam where they say the IRS is filing a lawsuit against you.

Hilariously, someone I sort of know from the internet (we've done a couple of group things together, but I don't think we've ever had one-on-one interaction) just emailed me about seeing Magic Mike, and I was like, "Did you mean to send this to me?" And she did. Heh.

My sister was an associate producer on Hand to God (the show where that asshat tried to charge his phone on the set). #irrelevantnamedropping

You guys, camp is making my kids such assholes at bedtime. They're outside all day running around doing awesome fun camp things, and then they come home exhausted and wired and they don't listen and they can't calm down and it's only the first week and I am so. over. the. tantrums. Go. the. fuck. to. sleep. #samuelljacksonsaysso

And, because I don't feel comfortable posting this on Facebook:

Dear employer, the fact that Free Time does not allow me to add audiobooks to my child's profile is, in a nutshell, bullshit.

Home from Vegas! So tired and stiff from all the walking. Elena was wonderful! Sitting in a pool on a summer morning until the sun clears the surrounding buildings is a lovely way to spend time.

Most amazing, the penny slots were mind-boggingly generous to me. I came back with three-quarters of the money I was going to spend, and I paid for nearly everything with the cash that was being generated. Unless Elena was in eye-shot of me, then I didn't win anything. She never won anything either.

Basic cable television continues to be boring, so I'm still happy I only have antenna, and there's still enough smoking in the casinos that I have to wash all my clothes tomorrow.

Yay, Connie! You went on a trip and nothing terrible happened except some boring TV and stink in your clothes!

Plus all the winning and the swimming pool and sunshine and good company!