Whatever happens after death is what's supposed to happen, if that makes any sense. Nothing to fear except leaving this world before I'm done, and I think I'll never be done. Maybe oblivion, maybe reincarnation, maybe joining a Cosmic Consciousness. I don't believe in any heaven or hell except what's be generated in the mind/soul. Heaven is peace and joy, hell is guilt and grief. I haven't found any religion that offered an afterlife (besides reincarnation) that I found at all appealing. Reincarnation isn't even all that appealing, I don't want to go through all that shit again!, but it's better than hell or some boring heaven where all you do is sing hosannas.

Supposedly there's a tribe of people in South America who believe that when you die, a giant Eagle (it isn't really an eagle but we can't perceive what it really is) swoops down and snatches our soul away and carries to the afterlife, and if you are very quick and very brave and stupid enough to try, you can evade her, and remain in the world as a wandering spirit, at least until she finds you again. This would not be notable except I once had a vivid dream of this very thing, and part of me is now convinced it's true. Not the rational part of me, of course, but how can we be sure the rational part is capable of grasping the true nature of reality? Quantum physics shows us a world that makes no sense to the rational mind, yet it seems to be true.

At the University of Virginia there's a division of the School of Medicine, the Division of Perceptual Studies, that studies reincarnation and near-death experiences, insofar as it's possible to research such things scientifically. They've been doing it since 1967. I've read some of their research and it's changed my mind on the subject. I'm not ready yet to say I believe, but I'm more willing to consider the possibilities than I used to be. Not that I've ever been a hard-line materialist, I've had too many weird experiences not to be open to Extreme Possibilities (Mulder?).

I kind of have to believe in some sort of afterlife, because I plan on haunting people after I'm gone.

My brain tells me there is nothing, but my gut and heart aren't so sure. I have had too many...I don't know what to call them...connections with people who have passed.

Timelies all!

Even though it's not part of my religious tradition, I really like the idea of karma. The idea of some sort of next-life punishment for people who were shitty in this life, and got away with it appeals.(I realize this is probably not what karma really is about, but still...)

The thing I find appealing about karma is that it isn't about judgement, no one decides you deserve to be punished, it's more like physics.

I'm at our company Women's Summit this week, which is actually a really big deal (only 50 women are invited out of our US staff of 20-some thousand and all the firm leadership is here) and I want to say more about that but first I have to vent a bit. Our Global CEO and Americas CEO are taking questions and three questions in a row boil down to "but what about the MENZ?? How should we handle their fee-fees when they don't get to come?"

You guys should be proud I didn't shout out "all lives matter! And what happened to white history month?!?" It was a near thing, I'll tell you.

Plus side: Global CEO's suggestion was "get over it".

Your self-control is impressive, brenda!

OK, I've only worked 3 days this week, but that was enough. Ready for a 5-day weekend. I drive up the coast tomorrow, spend the weekend with my family - my brother flew from Texas to Oregon today and will drive down with my sister and her kids tomorrow, Mom and Dad are driving up I think tomorrow, might have left today, as far as Dad knows for a weekend in the redwoods - Monday is Dad's 75th birthday, drive back Tuesday. Should be fun!

"I'm getting an error that says my disk is out of space when I try to attach documents to a file."

"Well, let's check the disk space."

"C: drive has room, J: drive has room, but the S: drive is full. But I don't think we use the S: drive for anything."

"Let's double check."

Why look, the S: drive is the one that your entire network installation of my program is trying to save data to. How long have you been having weird errors and never thought of getting help for them, preferring instead to bitch about what a horrible program it is?

Computer users: "It hurts when I hit myself!" "Then stop hitting yourself." "No, you should design a system where it doesn't hurt when I hit myself!"

How frustrating Connie.

I did hear back from Ask A Manager. Her reply was that employers pay OT for hours worked. Which is an incomplete answer, to me. Yes, I agree, in excess of hours worked. But it essentially means I don't get paid the holiday.

I did find documentation in our employee policies that OT is only paid for exempt employees who have over 80 hours of client billable work. Which, once again, makes the holiday unpaid. Or the OT unpaid. But technically it follows policy. I think it is a stinky loophole. But whatever.

Argh! Just found out we've been victims of identity theft. Someone took a $10,000 loan out in our name. How did I find out, you ask? Payment coupons just arrived in the mail. Fuck. First phone call with the CU went okay, at least they believed me, but we'll see how long it takes to clear this up.