I don't think I can watch it.

That's great, sarameg!

Do you know that non-broadcast, non-cable TV is called "over the top"?

The what now? How am I watching this?

Netflix or whatever.

Oh! Obviously I did not know, and I have a feeling that knowledge will not stick. But who knows?

I didn't watch the debates because I couldn't. Ugh. He has a decent chance of winning and it makes me ragey with a side of helplessness.

Work is a giant pain in the ass. I am not responding well to things and I have retreated to the very quiet midwestern shunning of people that I Just Can't Deal With. As a result, my principal came to tell me I've hurt people's feelings, that they think I am being dismissive and they don't know how to support me. That she wants me to know people want to help (but I'm still talking to those who actually HAVE helped or at least not been roadblocks) but that my attitude makes people feel bad. So she wants to broker meetings with all of these people so we can "figure out out a way to work together."

But I don't have to work with most of them. As a teacher, I can easily shut my door and teach. And I've worked damn hard to create a classroom where my students have little idea of how angry/miserable/despairing I feel. This takes all my energy because of other logistical work conditions and I don't have extra to coddle adults that I don't see.

(ooooohhhhhh... and I heard that one of the coworkers was complaining about me at lunch about something I wrote in email -- said I kicked her out of the department -- when other people who read the email flat out said, "No. That's not true. We read the email it said you would be meeting with us then working with things on your own. Like you've always done and asked to do before." So I'm not really sure that I even want to engage with people).

I also pointed out that my root upset isn't work conditions but that people push against and are disrespectful of a core value I hold that they don't around students mastering academic content. I said that the conflicts I have at work are around this and I need people to stop asking me to change grades and to stop changing them against my will because that's a clear instance of people not respecting that, at heart, what makes me teach is helping kids master skills.

So I said, thank you. No. I won't be attending intervention type meetings. I have to say if she wants me to be more engaged and less distant, she should probably have avoided using vague accusations and threats.

I wonder how long I will continue to have a job?

Being told I have to manage other people's feeling at work would make me want to set the place on fire.

That is a perfectly valid method of managing other people's feelings, Jesse.

That's what I thought! Thank you.

Yeah I'd have a hard time not saying that those people can just fuck right off.

Changing a student's grade makes me RAGEY. Horrible lesson for the students and horribly dishonest.

Oh Kat, yeah that sucks badly.