I didn't watch the debates because I couldn't. Ugh. He has a decent chance of winning and it makes me ragey with a side of helplessness.

Work is a giant pain in the ass. I am not responding well to things and I have retreated to the very quiet midwestern shunning of people that I Just Can't Deal With. As a result, my principal came to tell me I've hurt people's feelings, that they think I am being dismissive and they don't know how to support me. That she wants me to know people want to help (but I'm still talking to those who actually HAVE helped or at least not been roadblocks) but that my attitude makes people feel bad. So she wants to broker meetings with all of these people so we can "figure out out a way to work together."

But I don't have to work with most of them. As a teacher, I can easily shut my door and teach. And I've worked damn hard to create a classroom where my students have little idea of how angry/miserable/despairing I feel. This takes all my energy because of other logistical work conditions and I don't have extra to coddle adults that I don't see.

(ooooohhhhhh... and I heard that one of the coworkers was complaining about me at lunch about something I wrote in email -- said I kicked her out of the department -- when other people who read the email flat out said, "No. That's not true. We read the email it said you would be meeting with us then working with things on your own. Like you've always done and asked to do before." So I'm not really sure that I even want to engage with people).

I also pointed out that my root upset isn't work conditions but that people push against and are disrespectful of a core value I hold that they don't around students mastering academic content. I said that the conflicts I have at work are around this and I need people to stop asking me to change grades and to stop changing them against my will because that's a clear instance of people not respecting that, at heart, what makes me teach is helping kids master skills.

So I said, thank you. No. I won't be attending intervention type meetings. I have to say if she wants me to be more engaged and less distant, she should probably have avoided using vague accusations and threats.

I wonder how long I will continue to have a job?

Being told I have to manage other people's feeling at work would make me want to set the place on fire.

That is a perfectly valid method of managing other people's feelings, Jesse.

That's what I thought! Thank you.

Yeah I'd have a hard time not saying that those people can just fuck right off.

Changing a student's grade makes me RAGEY. Horrible lesson for the students and horribly dishonest.

Oh Kat, yeah that sucks badly.

Changing a student's grade makes me RAGEY. Horrible lesson for the students and horribly dishonest.

Oh yeah, I was already burning the place down before even getting to the real issue! Grrrr.

I'm on board with Jesse's method.

I'm on board as well.

This project, on which I'm the ops lead and on which I have been very vocal about us not having sufficient computational resources, not to mention every 'enhancement' has lead to more human babysitting required, but everyone is like, oh no, you really do and look AUTOMATION?

Complete flaming radioactive trainwreck.

And people are sending me emails clearly indicating THEY NEVER READ THE EMAIL I SENT YESTERDAY FLAMES FLAMES.

Which religion has the best heaven?

Hmmmm....

Well, the Norse afterlife was basically a continuous party until a giant (presumably drunken) battle takes place. After that I assume is the worst hangover ever. No thanks.

The Greek/Roman afterlife always seemed pretty grim.

The Jewish afterlife is unspecified. That's a contender.

I don't recall the NT being very specific about the afterlife aside from it offering eternal life. Maybe I need to read the Bible again. People talk about it being very static, but I don't think the NT actually states that. I wouldn't like static.

I don't remember what the Quran said. I should re-read that too.

I hear reincarnation when people talk about the Hindu faith. That doesn't sound bad. Something that changes instead of being static sounds a lot better.

I'm not clear on Buddhism.

I don't have any clue about an afterlife. However, I can't see how brain and mind can be separated. So does that mean life is just a short segment on the line of time? That, I'm not sure about. Maybe life is much, much larger, but not in a linear sense. What if the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics is true? Maybe a life isn't a line but an infinite tree of possibilities. Maybe it's something completely different that we've never considered. The Universe is always surprising us.