Gud, that's totally unreasonable.
Maybe, but that's not really anything I can do about it. If I were to push back things would get really nasty. I can't risk things falling apart completely. She's already said there's no way she'd let me have custody of the kids and I have a feeling she'd try to keep me from seeing them at all. I don't see a male with aspergers and a job that takes me out of town three days a week winning that fight. I'm not sure I'd have the viciousness for that fight. Plus, she needs me until she gets her career going. The only solution is to fix things, but I don't know how. It's a bad spot.
Oh. I think someone tried to get me some help once. Please don't. That attempt backfired rather badly. I appreciate the thought, I really do, but help doesn't always end up being helpful.
I suspect we cross-posted. Just going to add that yes, children make things infinitely more complicated, and you have a right to stay if you want to or feel you need to. But that, too — her threatening to take the children — is a classic sign of abuse. And you be surprised what the courts will see when the truth of the abuse is laid out — but it's valid to be concerned that there will could be a bias against you because you are male. The courts have come further than you think, though.
And it is also true that attempts to help someone if they aren't ready or aren't able to leave almost always make things worse.
And one more piece of advice and then I'll shut up — if nothing else, start documenting everything. Every time she belittles you or abuses you in any way, emotional or physical or verbal. You've done that a little on this board. These kinds of posts or journals are frequently used in custody trials.
But truly, the most important thing for you to know is that this is a safe place, and we hear you.
That is crazy, Gud. It seems to me that she...looks for reasons to be upset. To put it mildly.
They are your children too. Granted, you would have to say more than you want about...situations like that, but a case could be made, if you had to.
I have tears in my eyes, Gud. Honestly, when you consider the children also consider that they are learning about interpersonal relationships every day in their home, and this isn't what you want them to learn. You have a right to be respected and valued. We don't want you to feel piled on, but we don't want to see you abused either. And this is abuse.
You're a good guy...you deserve some peace at home.
I hope you find a path through this, Gud.
I successfully bought bras today. $60 bras, but less trauma than usual. Afraid I was a little abrupt with the sales lady at first, but then made sure to make nice later (because she was just doing her job and proved really helpful, I'm just a problem child who walks into a bra shop ready to be failed.) Real shocker? Going from about to-self-destruct, now slightly-too-large cups of a 34DD to a 36C. With my rib age circumference having shrunk. Bra sizing, I don't get you. But I do know that only balconettes avoid giving me quadraboob, and they're frighteningly few options there.
And I bought a new reinforced cable for my iPad, one that hopefully Pumpkin won't chew on. I had way too much duck tape and electrical tape on the old (which she also didn't mind chewing, damnit.)
Last day of outdoor swim tomorrow! Hoping to fix my funky tan lines, not burn. And do some yard work.
Well, the day got a lot better. I thought it was the beginning of a very bad day, but it turned out not to be. I also managed to do some mowing, clean the kitchen, go to the grocery store, do a lot of cleaning in the basement, do some vacuuming, do two loads of dishes, grill a nice dinner, and return the kitchen to its relatively clean state.
I spent much of the day with family at my 3 yo nephew's birthday party. It was really nice. Did a bunch of swimming and playing.
