I'm sorry your friend's condition is more complicated than expected, Sheryl.

My MIL makes a Christmas loaf with ground poppyseed. You understand, it's "not the same" if made with a processor or blender, no, so she grinds the seeds in a mortar to make a paste, spreads it over a lemon-vanilla flavored dough and rolls it up to bake. It's not overly sweet, but good. And once a year, so, special.

FiL used to grind the poppyseeds. They also used to make walnut torte together--he would shell the walnuts (variation: pecans) and she would grind them to powder with a meat grinder, using the ground nut meal as flour for batter to pour into four cake pans. Each layer would be sliced horizontally in half, so eight layers, with whipped coffee-flavored cream filling, and mocha frosting over all. She only made it for birthdays, so it was very special.

I had some work to get done today, including processing an author's response/changes to their edited manuscript (I edit it, my boss approves it, and then I send it to the author and when it comes back in I add the author's changes to the Word doc, and then it's out of my hands).

This was one of the rudest, most condescending-bordering-on-abusive authors I've ever encountered. I'm used to authors who don't like (or aren't used to) changes that we make to AMA style, and request that we change the wording back to the original. (We don't.) Rarely have I dealt with an author who essentially made rude comments about how the editing "ruined the flow of the original wording" and demanded the article be reverted to the original, in addition to mansplaining about italics and flat-out refusing to answer a question that we need an answer to (authors need IRB approval, and if they do not give us the name of the institution they got approval from, we have to ask them for it -- this author replied [I am not making this up] "I think the answer is obvious by the paper." OH HELL NAW, SON. HELL NAW.).

The best, the ABSOLUTE BEST part of this whole ridiculousness? The author of the paper is from Cincinnati (and again I am not lying). I could in theory go find this author and punch him in the throat while I yell the question at him over and over. "Tell!" [punch] "me!" [punch] "the name!" [punch] "of your institution!" [punch] "You supercilious jackhole!" [punch]

Full. Metal. Editrix.

ION, Jack has peed in my room twice now. He gets regular walks, so I don't think it was a matter of him having to go. It is the cats main hang out. Both times he was seen doing it. Thankfully we have Nature's Miracle in the house, but I'm frustrated.

I could in theory go find this author and punch him in the throat while I yell the question at him over and over. "Tell!" [punch] "me!" [punch] "the name!" [punch] "of your institution!" [punch] "You supercilious jackhole!" [punch]

And you could film it and show it every Xmas. Or every Tuesday.

Jack is trying to claim your room? He'll learn, I'm sure.

Beverly, those treats sound amazingly delicious.

Oh, hey, ready for lunch. Can I keep coming up with things to do that are not mowing the lawn all day? Time will tell!

Rarely have I dealt with an author who essentially made rude comments about how the editing "ruined the flow of the original wording" and demanded the article be reverted to the original, in addition to mansplaining about italics and flat-out refusing to answer a question that we need an answer to

Oh, I love these. One of my favorites was "You have ruined my beautiful art!" (I put line breaks in his equations to make them fit in the column. They were correct, he just didn't like how it looked.) Oh, and the guy who mansplained how parentheses work. As soon as they prove themselves to be unreasonable jackholes, I move their shit to the bottom of my priority list, and mark the article "multiple revisions required by author" which we all know is code for "this guy is a supercilious jackhole". I used to stress the fuck out over trying to please them, but I don't have enough fucks left for that.

I used to stress the fuck out over trying to please them, but I don't have enough fucks left for that.

The AMA journals have tightened up their production schedule to a ridiculous degree. When my boss told me the article was ready to be sent to the author, she said "Do what you have to in order to expedite this." And my (un-typed) (to her) reaction was "What the fuck do you think *I* can do to make an author return their article if they're dragging their heels? Magic? We aren't allowed to threaten or insult them, so what in the hell am I supposed to do? Maybe YOU should do what YOU can to make the production schedule not so tight!"

She told me she needed to pass the completed article to the journal manager on July 6 (this coming Monday). The author told me, officiously, that he would not be able to return the article to me until today. What needs to happen after *I* get the article back is that I make the changes, upload a new Word doc to the server, production runs out a proof for the proofreader, the proofreader (duh) proofs and returns it, a proof gets sent to the author, and then the author corrections get made -- all of that BEFORE it gets handed to the journal manager.

Also? The AMA offices are closed today anyway.

None of this is my damn problem. I am doing my part as efficiently and with as little bloodshed as possible. The AMA's unrealistic deadlines and the jackass author's jackass refusal to return the article on time is NOT MY PROBLEM. The AMA's schedule and the author's refusal to return the article are quite literally not anything *I* can control.

Bullshit, man. I have a weekend to get on with and stuff to blow up.

I made a pie crust this morning for another peach pie, this one vegan. But I'm really enjoying this whole vodka crust thing, it really helps my overcaution about too much liquid in the crust.

Also went on a nice slow bike ride with my siblings -- my younger brother the bike racer had his 7-yo daughter on the rear seat of his tandem bike. She contributed nothing, and was just along as ballast. Too funny.

And now for a shower, try once again to take the door off the old dishwasher, and off to get a beer in the sun with my older brother, before getting pizza in JLS with dad.

Not a bad day.

I hope everyone else gets a good day, too.

Hey, my water regulations have changed. Instead of odd-numbered days, I can now water on Tuesdays and Fridays. That's actually easier for me to remember. All the other restrictions are disallowing things I already don't do. I don't think I'm going to cut 28% of my water consumption just by following the rules, somehow.

Trying to get things done on a holiday weekend are such a bitch.