Aaaand just sent email to boss that will mean more work in short term, but less in long. Except I have no time.

But points for proactive. Ism. Or something.

This is me trying to be a grownup.

sarameg, I hope ... I dunno what to hope for you. I hope your head does not explode, I hope things get better soon.

Good luck getting through it, sarameg. I hope something that is not you gives.

Final lesson of Tai Chi form! I don't know the names of everything we learned tonight: there was a bit with crossed wrists , step back to Ride the Tiger followed by turning 360 degrees, foot-circles, a double punch, roll back, dragon stance, punch, fade, push, closing. It will be fun to see how much I can do on my own tomorrow morning...next week we do the warmups that start the Saturday practice sessions. I am really looking forward to actually knowing what I'm supposed to do instead of just guessing and giving my mirror neurons a workout!

3k more steps to my daily goal (the Fitbit counted ZERO steps during Tai Chi which does not seem right but it was a lot of slow movement and holding postures I suppose) but I am also kind of hungry. Hm. Maybe a Luna Bar and some jogging in place while I watch 12 Monkeys...

Good luck, sara. You are a grownup....

Please god let me be able to hire someone new before I have ease a second person off my team.

I have to send the Dean a report on how we are advancing in the Strategic Plan today. Zzzz.

My fitbit counts zero steps during Bikram, and I think it counts the eliptical as eliptical, not steps, too.

Ben Hatke at the local library tonight, so my daughter will add another signed edition to her library.

Yeah, I'm used to the elliptical not counting for steps, but I usually get one or two hundred steps in an hour of Tai Chi. I think having MobileTrack as an option is confusing the issue.

You know what fitbit counts as tons of steps? Horseback riding!

I found my fitbit after it being lost for 5 months and, boy, do I get very few steps on the days I work from home and Bob is home to walk the dog. Yesterday, however, I went into the office and Bob is at a conference and I did 5+ miles easily.

Brain dump - moodiness whine warning

I am really ready to trade in my body. Anxiety seems under control after being back on meds for like 4 months, that's great....but now an ever present low-level depression is my daily struggle. I am on month 2 of tracking how I feel each day for the therapist. Scale is 1-5. 1 requires crying unrelated to specific events, 5 requires feeling happy regardless of specific events. It is a sea of 2s and 3s. No 5s. Only a couple of 1s (today is a 1, I despise crying at work, thank dogs no one really notices me and I can just sit here working on Spreadsheets).

I think both therapist and GP are reluctant to put me on more meds. This is a new development, the Celexa kept depression at bay last time. All I want to do is stay in bed. I sm deeding having to travel over July 4 to see family. I know I will be fine once there, will enjoy it, will enjoy them, but I cannot muster enthusiasm. Everything is exhausting, I'm exhausting. I am sick of myself and the negativity and blahness in my head. It doesn't feel right and I don't like this person.

tl:dr. - brain chemistry sucks, life goes on.

I'm sorry, msbelle. That's so hard. I hope you and your therapist can come up with something that helps.