Super cool, Sue!

I get that it is a delicate balance between encouraging elders to do more and bullying. Mom went home from rehab and the last 2 days has refused to do her exercises. When the therapist comes to the house she will, but that isn't enough. Sigh.

Wow, Sue! That timing sounds great, too -- enough time to figure stuff out.

I swear, the more I hear about other people's families, the more grateful I am for mine. My grandmother didn't go to my cousin's wedding, because she was afraid it would be too much for her. I don't think anyone really even tried to talk her into going. We just missed her!

One of Mom's sisters was like with that wtih G'ma just in total denial of her abilities and loss of function.

I'd probably be bitchy Steph and want to tell your BIL "wrap up one ankle, on the other leg put a stiff knee brace where you cant't bend your leg, then wrap your wrists like they are sprained. Oh and put some weight in a back pack and sling it over one arm so you are off balance and then walk up and down three flights of stairs. If you have any trouble multiple that by 1000. That's what your asking him to do." But I know you or Tim can't do that.

I've been reading along, and like Jesse, I am extremely grateful that my 92-year-old father is still pretty self-sufficient. He goes very slow on stairs, but he still goes. He goes to the gym at the Y a couple of days a week and goes mall walking the others. He's not super spry, but he just keeps chugging along without any major health issues. He's just like a spring-wound clock slowly winding down.

If you have any trouble multiple that by 1000. That's what your asking him to do.

PLUS, FiL's eyesight isn't as good as it could be, because he has cataracts but refuses to get surgery for them. *My* Dad was ecstatic to get cataract surgery, because for the first time in his life he didn't need glasses (though he soon realized he needed readers, which was a weird experience for him). I have no idea why FiL refuses to get cataract surgery, but he won't do it, so he's having more and more trouble reading things and, well, *seeing* things.

It really is a recipe for a broken leg or hip, and THEN how in the hell do we get him back to Ohio? This is such a bad idea. And more than bad, it's just mean.

I suspect it all comes from SiL, actually. Her mother has dementia that is so bad she doesn't recognize anyone, and she lives very comfortably and happily in a care facility. About 12 years ago, as her mother's dementia was developing -- but she still knew all her family, was oriented to the day/month/year, etc. -- SiL decided they should take her to the beach. [See a theme?] And her mother was very agitated about it and didn't want to go, because she didn't want to be out of familiar surroundings. But what SiL did was show up the day they were leaving, and pack a bag, and cheerfully tell her mother "Oh, you've been looking forward to this; let's go!"

I also think *that* is a shitty thing to do to someone with dementia, but -- it was her mother, and before my time, so whatever. But I think that SiL is trying the same damn tactic with FiL. Except that he doesn't have the kind of dementia where she can just breeze in and cheerfully tell him he's been looking forward to this, pack his bag for him, and force him into the car. He has enough of his wits about him to know that's total bullshit.

Okay, so I secretly want him to just tell BiL and SiL to take a flying leap and leave him alone. He won't actually say anything like that, but when push comes to shove, I think he'll just Bartelby his way out of it. I hope.

Oh, I just want to go all "Bob loves cataract surgery!" on everybody who has them. But it was a scary surgery, because you're awake and watching it--though drugged enough that you're all "This is moderately disturbing, but kind of interesting." At least it was for me.

It really is a recipe for a broken leg or hip, and THEN how in the hell do we get him back to Ohio?

My grandfather broke a hip during a hurricane evacuation. I do not recommend it.

Look how fabulous Ofeibea Quist-Arcton is.

[link]

OMG, she is exactly as fabulous as I would have hoped.

I always love hearing her say "This is Ophelia Quist-Arcton, Dakaaaarrrrrrr."