Pro tip: if your wife mows the lawn with the janky old reel mower that you love so much you refuse to get a normal lawn mower (even though you can't mow any more because of your rheumatoid arthritis, so it's past time to get a mower that the actual person mowing finds easy to use), and does 2 loads of laundry, and washes the dishes, AND works a full day, AND feels like she's getting a cold -- you don't ask *if* she wants you to make dinner. You ask what she'd like you to make for dinner or go pick up some goddamn shawarma.

My husband is alive right now only because he's cute.

Today got worse. Partly due to people being stupid. I'm assigning all of them to the one person interior room in the new building.

The class I'm teaching this summer has just eight students, and two of them are veterans, and a few others are older students. I kind of love the lack of whining.

I'm assigning all of them to the one person interior room in the new building.

Do they understand just how much power you currently hold?

Mwuahahaha!

(And chief among them is the one person I will not share an office with. Too perky and pretty sure my profanity would offend her sensibilities. Current officemate just burst into laughter when I started chanting fuck today. She...would not.)

I need a boyfriend. I have decided. This needs to happen.

Well, you posted about it, so he should be along any minute.

I need a boyfriend. I have decided. This needs to happen.

Can we just pitch in and get you a periodic manservant?

[link]

like a prostitute gofundme, that's all sorts of depressing.

But much lower maintenance than a boyfriend.