So, at work we have a makerspace, and the makerspace has a laser engraver. And today at work someone used our chat reference service to ask, "I make artisanal cheeses and I was wondering if I could use the laser engraver to engrave something on an edible cracker or cheese." The answer, sadly, was no. But, epic question, mate!

Edit: I would bet money the questioner is from Northside.

Most of the problems are probably mostly my fault anyhow,

Gud, this scares me. This is not language people normally use in describing issues like this. It sounds like gaslighting to me. Marriage is a two-way street. This sounds decidedly one-way.

Please talk to a counselor. Please.

No, Gud, listen and listen to me very closely. Your wife may very well be a good person, but she is a good person who is wrong. I may be a good person, but I'm a good person who was wrong. I know your relationship is not mine, but in my case, most of the problems were not caused by my husband, they were caused by me, and those that were caused by him were often exacerbated by me.

Do not stop talking about it. Venting is a safe and healthy thing to do and if you can't do it with us, then please find a professional with whom you can.

Edit: I would bet money the questioner is from Northside.

If there's an artisanal cheesemaker in Northside and I don't know them, a great injustice hath been wrought.

Gud, venting is an okay thing to do. You are allowed to take care of yourself by talking to people who care about you. It concerns me that you have an urge to stop talking about this. Yes, there are things between spouses that are meant to be private and not shared outside the marriage, but no - being called ugly names and criticized is not a sacred trust. No one deserves to be treated that way. You deserve to be treated with respect and care. No matter how excellent a person your wife is in other ways, you still deserve better treatment.

Oh, artisanal cheese making laser enthusiast! Making it hipster indeed.

Now I wish I'd seen Liese's post but...hugs to all?

Rough day at work -- many layoffs and much re-shuffling. I'm still employed, but several of my friends are not. Survivor's guilt is awkward.

That is rough, dcp.

Something I was thinking but did not say some months ago, Gud, when your wife was giving you hell for paying one bill one day late: isn't she the one who originally had responsibility for paying the bills in your house and managed to NOT pay any bills for six months? And then you had to work overtime for a long time to get your household out of the mess?

Gud, good people can be wrong. Two good people can end up in patterns that are bad for both of them. Bad patterns, bad coping mechanisms: these don't mean she's a bad person or that you're a bad person. It means there are things that need to be addressed for the happiness of you both.