Yay cabinets, Suela!

Shrift, I totally want a couch like that, but all the ones I look at are too long to fit in my space

Mostly I just hate that I go dancing a lot, and yet a lot of times I feel invisible and like a shitty dancer. Like, there's lots of regulars, and I've been going on the regular for 2 years now...yet most of them seem to not recognize or remember me ever. And most times it seems I go and end up sitting on the sidelines 80% of the songs, and most of the ones I do dance, I either feel like I"m dancing with the worst dancer in the room (some of these guys are just awful--no sense of rhythm, horribly uncomfortable, etc) or *I* am the worst dancer in the room (some guys who are good dancers and trying to give me a pity dance and then leading things that I can tell I am not following right). It's kind of exemplified by this one guy who I know from two-stepping. He recently moved to town, and he's a very good dancer in this style as well. We've chatted several times, and hung out at a few dances along with another two-stepper who had just moved to town and also does this dance. And because he's good, he's gotten very swiftly welcomed in by all the "cool kids" and other good dancers, etc. But the last three times I asked him to dance he turned me down (always with a "oh, I was going to get some water right now" or whatever). So I figured I would stop asking...and we've been at four or five dances since then and he has yet to ask me to dance. Which...I know I'm not as good as him. But he's always friendly and usually says hi and stuff...so, what, am I so bad that he can't even stand to dance once with me? (He dances with other folks who are not amazing dancers). UGH. Frustrating as hell, because every once in a while I have a great dance, and it feels amazing...but so often I come home just feeling like shit.

Liese, I use mynetdiary, upgraded pretty high because they lure you in with incremental upgrades that seem quite reasonably priced and useful at each step. It serves my needs, and you can customize what nutrients you want to track, and what quantities or percentages you are targeting, if you want. I've left all that on the defaults, I think, I'm more just tracking than striving for any goals, but it helpfully tells me all kinds of stuff that I mostly ignore. Pleases me to think that I maybe will fine tune my diet sometime, though. I tried the GPS-enabled exercise tracker that goes with it, and it's fine. I would probably be using it if I weren't in thrall to my heart rate monitor.

That sounds pretty frustrating and not fun, meara.

Still kid watching. Knew it would be a late night when I agreed, no telling with ER admissions, but uhg. Want to go to bed an hour ago.

Ugh, meara, that does sound unfun. It's tough, cause there can be lots of reasons behind someone's social behavior, and it might have very little to do with you personally, or your skill as a dancer. I know you've been dancing a while, so I highly doubt that you're as bad at it as your mental health demons are letting you believe right now.

And if people are rejecting you for dance reasons or whatnot, then fie on them, because they are up generous people and they are missing out on the fun that is you.

Cool, -t, thanks, I will check it out.

Blargh, sara, so hard. But good on you for helping out.

Think I may be bagging it tomorrow. I've tried to sleep, but really can't in other place waiting for mom. And it's 2:30 already.

4mm kidney stone. He's home. As am I. But not getting up in a couple hrs.

I hope you (and your neighbors) get lots of sleep today.

meara, didn't someone recently tell you you had always been dance-y but now more so?

Cramp in my calf woke me up and I don't think I am getting back to sleep. Maybe I should go for a walk before the sun comes up...supposed to be over 100 again today.

Also, I would just like to say to the Cinci peeps that thinking about how potential actions in your city are likely to affect you is not a bad or wrong thing. If that were solely your concern, then you might have a fairly limited scope of vision. But it is totally ok to both acknowledge the deeper sociological aspects, recognize that your peril differs from that of minorities who share your cities, and also that it is likely to have effects on your day to day interests. There's nothing self serving about that; that's just reality.

It just struck me last night that it is practically the definition of white privilege to sit on my couch and stress-eat ice cream while worrying about potential riots.

I read a news article that said the police officer's own attorney thinks an indictment is likely. Which makes me really nervous about what's on the footage from the body camera. Rumors on Twitter are pretty ugly. (And yet, Eric Garner. So.)

Apparently the grand jury could rule as early as today.

I actually got stopped yesterday by a cop with a body camera (he said I didn't come to a full stop at a stop sign, I think I did but, whatever). After introducing himself he told me we were being recorded (I asked audio & video and he confirmed). Even I, with my pasty white face and law degree, asked his permission to reach for my wallet, open the glove box, etc.

And there is a small part of me that wondered if because he was wearing that body camera he was looking for easy tickets to issue, in a reverse profile way so that he could do his job and not risk trouble.

I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about him stopping me -- he's got every right to do that if he says I didn't stop, and I'm not complaining about not being let off with just a warning -- but I'm wondering if I would have just been waved off a year ago because I'm white, because I was in a suit, because I haven't gotten a ticket since college, and wasn't because of the body camera. If so, and it makes policing less arbitrary, and their actions more predictable, then I'm all for it.