Still kid watching. Knew it would be a late night when I agreed, no telling with ER admissions, but uhg. Want to go to bed an hour ago.

Ugh, meara, that does sound unfun. It's tough, cause there can be lots of reasons behind someone's social behavior, and it might have very little to do with you personally, or your skill as a dancer. I know you've been dancing a while, so I highly doubt that you're as bad at it as your mental health demons are letting you believe right now.

And if people are rejecting you for dance reasons or whatnot, then fie on them, because they are up generous people and they are missing out on the fun that is you.

Cool, -t, thanks, I will check it out.

Blargh, sara, so hard. But good on you for helping out.

Think I may be bagging it tomorrow. I've tried to sleep, but really can't in other place waiting for mom. And it's 2:30 already.

4mm kidney stone. He's home. As am I. But not getting up in a couple hrs.

I hope you (and your neighbors) get lots of sleep today.

meara, didn't someone recently tell you you had always been dance-y but now more so?

Cramp in my calf woke me up and I don't think I am getting back to sleep. Maybe I should go for a walk before the sun comes up...supposed to be over 100 again today.

Also, I would just like to say to the Cinci peeps that thinking about how potential actions in your city are likely to affect you is not a bad or wrong thing. If that were solely your concern, then you might have a fairly limited scope of vision. But it is totally ok to both acknowledge the deeper sociological aspects, recognize that your peril differs from that of minorities who share your cities, and also that it is likely to have effects on your day to day interests. There's nothing self serving about that; that's just reality.

It just struck me last night that it is practically the definition of white privilege to sit on my couch and stress-eat ice cream while worrying about potential riots.

I read a news article that said the police officer's own attorney thinks an indictment is likely. Which makes me really nervous about what's on the footage from the body camera. Rumors on Twitter are pretty ugly. (And yet, Eric Garner. So.)

Apparently the grand jury could rule as early as today.

I actually got stopped yesterday by a cop with a body camera (he said I didn't come to a full stop at a stop sign, I think I did but, whatever). After introducing himself he told me we were being recorded (I asked audio & video and he confirmed). Even I, with my pasty white face and law degree, asked his permission to reach for my wallet, open the glove box, etc.

And there is a small part of me that wondered if because he was wearing that body camera he was looking for easy tickets to issue, in a reverse profile way so that he could do his job and not risk trouble.

I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about him stopping me -- he's got every right to do that if he says I didn't stop, and I'm not complaining about not being let off with just a warning -- but I'm wondering if I would have just been waved off a year ago because I'm white, because I was in a suit, because I haven't gotten a ticket since college, and wasn't because of the body camera. If so, and it makes policing less arbitrary, and their actions more predictable, then I'm all for it.

Yeah, the less selective enforcement the better, for sure. And if that eventually leads to laws being removed that were really only there so they could be selectively enforced, hallelujah.

We're supposedly getting new windows today, so I had to lock the cat in the bathroom. Luckily, she is obsessed with the bathroom sink, and also being where I am, so by the time I had moved the food/water and litter in there, all I had to do was shut the door. I still feel bad for her! And really hope they do one of my other rooms that can close today.

Also a slight complaint about my mother and her weird cheapness: She's getting new windows on about 3/4 of the house. Why not just do the whole thing?? I mean, I realize that extra quarter adds up to real money, but she was just having to spend her savings down to qualify for Medicaid! Just do it!

This is like when she got the walls fixed in my apartment, but not in the bathroom. The smallest room! Just do it all!

Obviously, it's her money and she can do what she wants.

That is like the opposite of my dad, who is like, part of the roof needs repairs? Replace the whole thing! And add solar panels! And paint the house while we're at it! I think he thinks he can be actually done with home maintenance if he does enough at one time.

Their house does look nice with all that almost finished, I have to admit.