I need hivemind help. I'm looking for a dress to wear to my nephew's wedding in April. It's an afternoon wedding and I want something pretty, comfy, below the knee length, elbow-length sleeves, and appropriate for someone who now wears a size 16/18, but doesn't look like I'm, I dunno, some old lady. I have checked all the mainstream sites, like Macy's, J. Crew, Nordstrom's etc. but the dresses are all these weird chiffon skirt and jeweled bodice things which, ew. Eshakti I am worried will not get the dress to me in time.

Any unusual sites you want to recommend?

Scrappy, how about this?

That site has several other dresses that might work, as well.

Ann Taylor has some wrap dresses.

Mod Cloth has a few with sleeves.

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Igigi has nice dresses in that size range (that's where I bought my big blue wedding dress, though they have less dressy dresses). [link]

I think J. Jill has dresses in that range.

Scrappy, do you have access to a Lord & Taylor near you? I always find stuff there, whether I'm an 8 like I now am, or a 16, like I once was.

You guys, one of our besties is a trans man who lived in Kentucky for years and years. And to get your gender on your birth certificate changed in Kentucky, you just need to have a doctor's verification that you're trans (that's a simplistic explanation, but for the purposes of this story, basically accurate). So when our friend transitioned, he got his birth certificate changed. And so his driver's license in Kentucky had him as a guy. Because he is a guy.

He moved to Ohio this year, where he lived before transitioning. When he went to get an Ohio drivers license, because they had him in the system under his birth name as a woman, they flat-out refused to issue him a drivers license that indicated he's a man. He showed them his Kentucky license. He showed them his birth certificate. He threatened to get a lawyer. The BMV called the Ohio registrar, who said (in effect), too fucking bad, tell her that her license has to match what we have on file.

The long and the short of it is that a super sympathetic employee did a hack where they created a whole new record for him with his gender marked as male, and said if it ever gets flagged, they'll just say "Huh, I don't know how that happened."

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. What he goes through on the regular is ungoddamnbelievable.

I have no idea. Y'all know I'm pretty liberal politically and pretty conservative, religiously. This ought to leave me in the middle, but does not.

I do NOT AT ALL understand these reactionary religious responses to transgender people.

What would they do/say, had their kids been born this way? (Sorry, Lady Gaga.)

Cindy, I have missed you!

Oh Teppy, thank you. I have missed you, Hec, Cashmere, tiggy, vwbug and well, damn, everyone.

< font = joey tribbiani> How YOU doin'? < / font>

I'm feeling antsy. I want to do something. But I don't know what to do. In college, I could go knock on someone's door or see if anyone was hanging out in the lounge. I kind of feel like I haven't figured out how to have friends as an adult.

Hil, if I didn't still have a migraine jabbing an ice pick into my face, we could hang out. But I have the lights dim and I'm trying to diagnose poor Tim's arthritic issues.

He saw the rheumatologist today, who agreed that his test results are whacky and don't really point to gout or rheumatoid arthritis conclusively. So Tim and I are googling, and it kind of looks like it might be psoriatic arthritis, which is basically a cousin of RA and is treated more or less the same way.

He had blood drawn and more x-rays done today, and has a follow-up appointment in 10 days, so hopefully they can come up with a tentative diagnosis and treatment plan.

Hil, if I didn't still have a migraine jabbing an ice pick into my face, we could hang out. But I have the lights dim and I'm trying to diagnose poor Tim's arthritic issues.

Yeah, I totally get that. Migraines suck.

And that reminds me that I forgot to call the rheumatologist today. That was on my list of things to do. That list might be more helpful if it was an actual list, rather than just in my head.