Scrappy, do you have access to a Lord & Taylor near you? I always find stuff there, whether I'm an 8 like I now am, or a 16, like I once was.

You guys, one of our besties is a trans man who lived in Kentucky for years and years. And to get your gender on your birth certificate changed in Kentucky, you just need to have a doctor's verification that you're trans (that's a simplistic explanation, but for the purposes of this story, basically accurate). So when our friend transitioned, he got his birth certificate changed. And so his driver's license in Kentucky had him as a guy. Because he is a guy.

He moved to Ohio this year, where he lived before transitioning. When he went to get an Ohio drivers license, because they had him in the system under his birth name as a woman, they flat-out refused to issue him a drivers license that indicated he's a man. He showed them his Kentucky license. He showed them his birth certificate. He threatened to get a lawyer. The BMV called the Ohio registrar, who said (in effect), too fucking bad, tell her that her license has to match what we have on file.

The long and the short of it is that a super sympathetic employee did a hack where they created a whole new record for him with his gender marked as male, and said if it ever gets flagged, they'll just say "Huh, I don't know how that happened."

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. What he goes through on the regular is ungoddamnbelievable.

I have no idea. Y'all know I'm pretty liberal politically and pretty conservative, religiously. This ought to leave me in the middle, but does not.

I do NOT AT ALL understand these reactionary religious responses to transgender people.

What would they do/say, had their kids been born this way? (Sorry, Lady Gaga.)

Cindy, I have missed you!

Oh Teppy, thank you. I have missed you, Hec, Cashmere, tiggy, vwbug and well, damn, everyone.

< font = joey tribbiani> How YOU doin'? < / font>

I'm feeling antsy. I want to do something. But I don't know what to do. In college, I could go knock on someone's door or see if anyone was hanging out in the lounge. I kind of feel like I haven't figured out how to have friends as an adult.

Hil, if I didn't still have a migraine jabbing an ice pick into my face, we could hang out. But I have the lights dim and I'm trying to diagnose poor Tim's arthritic issues.

He saw the rheumatologist today, who agreed that his test results are whacky and don't really point to gout or rheumatoid arthritis conclusively. So Tim and I are googling, and it kind of looks like it might be psoriatic arthritis, which is basically a cousin of RA and is treated more or less the same way.

He had blood drawn and more x-rays done today, and has a follow-up appointment in 10 days, so hopefully they can come up with a tentative diagnosis and treatment plan.

Hil, if I didn't still have a migraine jabbing an ice pick into my face, we could hang out. But I have the lights dim and I'm trying to diagnose poor Tim's arthritic issues.

Yeah, I totally get that. Migraines suck.

And that reminds me that I forgot to call the rheumatologist today. That was on my list of things to do. That list might be more helpful if it was an actual list, rather than just in my head.

My aunt has been in the hospital for about a week now (I don't want to get into details, but it's serious, and she's getting better, but might have some really bad long-term effects -- they're not totally sure yet), and I also just remembered that I was going to call her, but now it's Shabbat and she can't use the phone, so I'll wait until Sunday for that. My mom is up in Boston visiting her now.

Why didn't I buy chocolate today? I was at the supermarket, I knew that time of the month(tm) was coming, why did I buy raisins and oranges and walk bravely past the chocolate cake? I could be having chocolate cake with buttercream icing right now, instead of dumping half a little box of stupid golden raisins in the couch, which is what I just did.

Damn I hate being on a diet.

With trans* people getting their drivers licenses and everything correct, even just a name change can be difficult. One of my friends has a daughter whose biological father died, and she was adopted by her mother's new husband. They said that the actual process of adoption was nowhere near as difficult as getting her a new Social Security card in her new name. And she was just in kindergarten at the time, so it wasn't even like she had lifetime worth of education records and credit scores and everything else to deal with.

I've also got a friend who identifies as non-binary who's applying to grad schools, and they're having a really tough time with getting transcripts and recommendation letters and everything, since they went to at least one college under their birth name. They've also been getting really aggravated at online applications that just have radio buttons to select "male" or "female" with no option for "other" or "choose not to answer" or anything else like that.

Also, something that I've learned from their experiences, which I never would have thought of myself: any record should have a space for "Preferred Name," and that name should be the one that goes on the top of every page. That way, if the file is handed to some assistant and they're told, "Call this person and find out [whatever]," then that assistant knows what name to call the person, without having to remember, "Oh, right, the legal name might not be the right one, so I should go check that 'Preferred Name' box in the middle of the page."

Scrappy, I just got this [link] from Boden, and I love it! After looking at the reviews, I got my bigger possible size, and it fits perfectly. (Edit: Sorry, I just saw they don't have the blue in 18, and I'm guessing you don't want the ivory? Anyway:) They have other cute ones as well. And a whole "smart day" category, which sounds like just what you want.