A minor moral quandary. A young man who talked to Hubby a lot for advice sent me a message on FB asking for my phone number so he could ask for some non-family advice. The problem is, I think this guy is a fairly despicable human being, but I socialized with him with Hubby. Maybe he's come to some sort of revelation that I could help him not be so despicable. But I don't want to talk to him. I think I'd rather just do this over FB messaging. I think I'll use the excuse of not-unlimited minutes and the problems of finding a convenient time to talk.

Dana, the same clothes that you'd wear to any funeral should suffice.

I don't think there's much that's very different, Dana, but I'm not sure what you're used to. There may be some shoveling of dirt into the grave at the end, but I don't think that's obligatory for all the attendees. Going back to the house after for some food and chat is expected but not in, like, a procession. Don't bring flowers.

You aren't obligated to maintain social ties if you don't want to, Connie. "I don't like giving out my number" is enough reason, I would think.

"I don't like giving out my number" is enough reason, I would think.

Oh, that excellent wording. Coupled with an offer of FB messaging, that leaves channels open but with a slight remove.

Yeah, what -t said. You're under no obligation to do emotional labor for this dude.

Seconding -t. You're under no obligation, even for hubby's sake, to maintain more contact than you feel comfortable with, on any terms other than those you feel comfortable with.

Continued prayers and vibes, Liese, and I'm glad you are practicing self-care amid all the care for others. Best-and-most-gentle-and-graceful-possible-outcome~ma, in abundance.

And, ugh. An otherwise dear friend just announced to all and sundry on FB that he has come around to being just fine with a Trump presidency because if that's what it takes to bring on the revolution, that's what it takes, and the goal is worthy enough to endure some bumps in the road along the way. I'm sure that none of you could possibly even begin to guess what race and gender this friend is.

I remember when some people thought the Reagan presidency would bring on the revolution.

Wow, all sorts of drama in the supporting cast of my life. Friend on FB has been contacted by his birth mother and is confused on how to react. Also, my middle sister is getting divorced for the second time and moving back to the old homestead. And I feel like an utter miserable bitch for that background smug hum of "I was married longest of all my sisters!", which is easily countered by "Dear god, what grief Mother must have given Sister.")

And the W presidency. Totally the prelude to a (bloodless and hugs'n'puppies delightful) revolution!