I believe it was not a conscious act of ita's spirit

I don't, either. If anything, I think it was that all that pain had to go somewhere.

For whatever reason, your brain and spirit were receptive to the brief connection and you felt with her.

If I explain the dream I had Tuesday morning right before I woke up to the news of ita's death, you all really WILL think I'm crazy, because it requires an understanding of the connections my brain makes with things. But suffice it to say that I think my subconscious felt everyone's pain Tuesday morning while I slept. Really. (It's happened before, and it makes ME feel crazy.)

Allyson, do you want to just take a look at the photos people have been posting on FB, and see if there's any you (or someone else, or her family) likes, and either take from there, or ask whoever posted them for?

Anyone who has access to her Flickr serenada account [link] can take a look -- there are many, many good pictures there. Of just ita, of ita and her family, ita and Buffistas, ita and krav people, and (I think) a couple Montreal pictures.

I have to run out the door for most of the rest of the day, but I can look when I get back if no one else does.

I'm in the process of putting the pictures from Facebook all in one place.

Thanks, Ginger. I should have asked you to begin with.

I think that flickr account is open to everyone. I'm currently logged into flickr on an account that I know she didn't add as a contact (since it's one that my family just uses for family photos), and I can see all the photos there.

bon bon, thank you for hosting. I will be there, most likely all of us will be there but I should be able to come for sure. Let me know if there's anything I can bring.

I can help with writing things too, I have some time.

Let me know what you'd like me to bring, Bon.

I don't think you're crazy, Steph, FWIW.

Steph, I am your inverse in a way. I use a sleep tracker app and it asks for my mood when I wake up. I almost always choose the neutral option because I am just, you know, awake and not feeling anything in particular but Tuesday I was feeling good and chose accordingly. Before actually getting up, of course, I checked the board. Naturally I have drawn the conclusion that I should never click on the smiley face again.

I've had 3 experiences like the one you had in my own life.

Me too, and I woke up exhausted on Sunday morning from these crazy dreams - I told my husband about some of them, including one "all the Buffistas were at a swimming pool, sitting around the edge, but someone was in th pool and sinking super-deep, like ocean-deep and I was trying to dive in and rescue her and caught a glimpse of close-cropped ochre hair. I thought "Oh, it's ita, of course she can swim, she's probably OK."

Then I spent Sunday wondering what my brain was using ita and Buffistas as a metaphor for.