Wore black and pink today, though unphotographed. And thought about ita, so much. A few nights ago I pinched a nerve in my right arm sleeping wrong, and it's been pinging and throbbing ever since, and even at that very low level (maybe 2.5 out of 10 at most) it's been unrelenting and miserable. And all I've been thinking about is what a tiny shriveled speck of discomfort it is compared to what she endured daily, for years, with such fury and grace and eloquence.
Through it all she worked, wrote, drew, coded, belt-tested until she absolutely couldn't manage it, baked, joked, ficced, photographed, loved the hell out of her family,
functioned.
Somehow. Past what anyone else could have managed, past what any human should have had to endure, in the face of bureaucrazy and bullshit and petty administrative nonsense. I can't imagine what steel she was made of that she not only endured but created and mattered and fiercely lived through it; I still can't believe she's gone, and I still almost can't believe she was real, is real, that this world ever had the capacity to contain her improbable self.
Steph, alibelle explained here.
Thanks! And it was pink gingham just...because? (My memory really is shit lately.)
Because pink gingham is sweet, innocent, and feminine, and people who wear it wouldn't be expected to be tough and get-things-done, if I remember right.
Thus the wearing of pink gingham with big stompy combat boots, to illustrate the dichotomy.
So, amusingly, somehow, her pretty people sites came up ON THEIR OWN in my DW today. Not by me.
I'm going to take this as a sign to cry less, perv more.
It's like the steel-toed Mary Janes. It's the juxtaposition that matters.
I posted in the fb Buffistas group, but here also for y'all: [link] I wore the black & pink today but didn't selfie, so this is from a photoshoot earlier this year. She would have mocked my form, but appreciated the sentiment, I think.
And just for good measure, here's the shot of her sister & I that Burrell took at the memorial brunch. [link]
I just thought of what I could do to honor ita, but won't manage a picture for a day or two, probably. I remember she had a great love for Nelson Mandela, such that when he died, she was the first person I thought of. He was an important figure to me as well, and I liked sharing that with her. So I'm going to get a picture book about Mandela and read it to Rose... sometime this week. Lee, I will send you a picture if I can get one.
I still can't believe she's gone, and I still almost can't believe she was real, is real, that this world ever had the capacity to contain her improbable self.
Yes, all of this.
I wore the pink and black, and watched Flashpoint.
Without even trying, the selfie I took perfectly framed (full-frame, mind you) Enrico Colantoni's face...with a very serious expression.
I wore the Black Honey ita recommended.
The shot also includes a sign I put over my computer, "Make good art"...that quote from Neil Gaiman.
At the risk of coming over full-cheesy, ita WAS good art. And her art lives on in all the wonderful remembrances of her day.
(Lee, the photo is coming your way via email.)
I snagged it from FB already, Bonny.
If you sent me something in email or posted it on FB, and I didn't reply or comment, please let me know.
Cheers. No reply necessary.
