RIP ita. Just read the news (was wondering why Natter had exploded with posts; never thought it would be this).

Can't process at the moment.

Victor and Lea? eta left a message at Victor's FB. Joe Boucher?

I've been a mess all day. I called in late at work and got there and just. I tried to explain the relationship and went with friend. Which isn't really accurate. I mean there's no word for "a person who you've met online, but never in person, and interact with in some way on an almost daily basis and has had a profound impact on your life."

That's who she is.

I found her intimidating at times. She was passionate and fierce and challenging but she wasn't an unkind person. It took me a long time to realize the challenging was who she was and it wasn't done out of unkindness.

there's no word for "a person who you've met online, but never in person, and interact with in some way on an almost daily basis and has had a profound impact on your life."

"Friend"

I mean there's no word for "a person who you've met online, but never in person, and interact with in some way on an almost daily basis and has had a profound impact on your life."

Oh, but of course there is: friend. Just like you said.

[Edit: x-post with amych, who said it faster and better.]

Victor posted on FB.

You guys, I dirty-danced with ita at girlbar back in the day and it was GLORIOUS.

Oh man. Good times.

Thank you Allyson. Thank you Polgara. Thank you Maria for sharing her words to you.

I kept trying to compose a post, and then the browser would reload on me on the tablet and I'd lose my words, which is something I would have griped about to ita because ita knew her tablets.

I made it through half the day at work after Dana texted me this morning, and then I shuffled home early to put on my pajamas and take out my contacts, and cry.

I didn't see ita in person very often after she got the hell out of Michigan, but I'm glad I drove across the state to hang out with her while she was there. I'm pretty sure that the first time I met ita, I was with Dana at a La Femme Nikita convention. ita had a boss-ass cane because she'd hurt her knee doing capoeira. She set the impossibly cool bar really high.

I don't know how to deal with the fact that I won't get to read her complaints about ScarJo not being able to do action when the new Avengers movie comes out.

Several people have said something to the effect that they don't have a right to feel the amount of grief they feel. There have been very few days in 12+ years that I haven't thought about ita, read something she wrote or tried to answer her challenge to something I wrote. I can't say that about relatives or f2f friends. I know that's true for most of you. How can we not grieve?

I came across this - can't remember where, but I copied it - and it sums it up for me:

The world takes from us relentlessly. It takes our friends and first loves. It takes our parents. It takes our faith. It takes our dignity. It takes our passion. It takes our health. It takes our honesty, and it takes our credulity. To lose so much and still hold onto yourself is perhaps the most complicated task human beings are asked to perform, which is why seeing it done with aplomb is as thrilling as looking at dinosaur bones or seeing a herd of elephants. It’s an honor to exist on Earth with these things.