Denial, fury, and numbness and going through the motions got me through one of my best friends' unexpected death at 39. Sometimes, even after all these years, they still crop up.
The King of Cups expects a picnic. But this is not his birthday!
Drusilla ,'Conversations with Dead People'
ita's thread
A place where we can talk about ita, miss ita, and share information about memorials. The hugging started over here in Natter.
P.M. Marc - Jan 21, 2015 7:36:38 am PST #1017 of 3157
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear
Michele T. - Jan 21, 2015 8:33:20 am PST #1018 of 3157
with a gleam in my eye, and an almost airtight alibi
Denial can get you through some really bad times.
Msbelle told me the bad news last week, and I read through the Natter thread and the first 100 posts of this, and I said I was going to come back and post, and I just let denial work for me, too. Weirdly, ita is the second person I knew through online fandom to die suddenly and way too young in the last six months, and it's a lot. But I wanted to come by and add my sorrow to the pile here as well. I haven't been around for a while, but I worked closely with ita to design and build this place, and she was a presence to be reckoned with. She'll be missed.
Allyson, you have dealt with a lot, and with grace, and whatever strength I can send you and the rest of the LA crew telepathically, consider it sent.
JZ - Jan 21, 2015 8:57:02 am PST #1019 of 3157
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.
So many vibes to you, Allyson, and so much love to Dr. and Mr. Anderson. Your hair is exceptionally lovely.
Michele T! So good to see your pixels again. I'm so sorry ita is your second recent loss. It's monstrously wrong. I keep wanting to find the power center and smash it. There's another timeline with her in it, and it has to be better than this.
WindSparrow - Jan 21, 2015 9:17:36 am PST #1020 of 3157
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
Such pretty hair, Allyson.
Burrell - Jan 21, 2015 9:25:31 am PST #1021 of 3157
Why did Darth Vader cross the road? To get to the Dark Side!
It was really important to me to watch the coroner for some reason. Standing guard? Making sure they didn't knock her about? Or maybe I just needed to see that it was real. Mostly though just numb and sad.
-t - Jan 21, 2015 9:36:51 am PST #1022 of 3157
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration
It's a mitzvah that can never be repaid, Burrell.
beekaytee - Jan 21, 2015 9:47:35 am PST #1023 of 3157
Compassionately intolerant
It's a mitzvah that can never be repaid, Burrell.
Absolutely this.
It was really important to me to watch the coroner for some reason. Standing guard?
I've done this twice in my life. It just seemed the thing to do. Almost a physical need.
Volans - Jan 21, 2015 11:13:40 am PST #1024 of 3157
move out and draw fire
I love the O-deck honor, and hate it.
Allyson, store up the spoons via numbness if you need to, it's okay.
Shir - Jan 21, 2015 11:14:20 am PST #1025 of 3157
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".
Shiny hair admiration all around.
Edited to add:
Allyson, store up the spoons via numbness if you need to, it's okay.
Yes. So much this.
I wish so much I could come and cook and clean for the LA crew. Anything that may help. Just say the word. You are dealing with so much right now. And I adore your pretty hair for that.
Toddson - Jan 21, 2015 11:46:53 am PST #1026 of 3157
Friends don't let friends read "Atlas Shrugged"
Another gem from the BRQG:
ita: I'm sitting on the floor, with the sword (straight cane-katana) between my legs. The first step is to buff off any rust or grease. I have to brace the sword against my pubic bone, and rub very hard along its length with an abrasive pad. Very hard, long strokes. Firmness is best.
Hecubus: Jesus. No wonder men fear ita. Her idea of a dildo is three feet long and has a scalpel's edge.