Yikes, Julie. That sounds like the right call.

I think you were right to bail, Juliebird. Badness.

Setting limits can be healthy.

Ugh, I cannot figure out how to arrange my weekend so that I can see friends, see my father, and do my work. Going to the nursing home for meals really fucks up the day -- lunch is at noon, and dinner is at five, and it really takes two hours to get there, visit, and get home. Makes it hard to do anything in the afternoon, either way!

Woke up feeling snugly with my cats, then remembered what I'd done. Now I'm a ball of nerves wondering what the fallout will be. I hope they finish enjoying their holiday without me and go back to NH. But that's to make myself feel less guilty about putting that look on my moms face when she saw I was packing.

I can't participate in their facade of happy little family while admitting that he's drunk all the time and that my mom keeps her wallet on her at all times in the house. Maybe they've gotten used to dealing with him through forced proximity, but I haven't, and I refuse to. I've wanted to just get into my car and drive away from visits before, and maybe I would've given it another day if Dad hadn't locked me out and failed to answer my knocks on the door.

I feel so terrible for putting a dampener on my parents and little brothers weekend, but whatever my older brother is going through gets him landed back in prison.

Julie, you did the right thing, but I know what you mean about dreading the fallout. Maybe your refusal to put up with that kind of bullshit will help knock some sense into your parents.

Prioritizing your own safety and well-being over someone else's feelings is okay, Juliebird. It's sad that that's a choice you have to make, and it's not easy, but it doesn't make you a bad person, daughter, or sister.

What -t said. It sounds like your Mom really needs counseling on how not to be an enabler. Any chance you could get her to visit you and go to an Alanon meeting?

Ugh, I cannot figure out how to arrange my weekend so that I can see friends, see my father, and do my work.

I hear you. I continue to have the problem that planning to do any one thing seems to just wipe out the whole day. Today I am attempting to do two things, both the other side of a bridge from me, and hoping to get home in time to maybe do some cleaning or something before I collapse. We'll see how it goes, but starting in the morning should help. So, really, I should eat breakfast and get dressed about...now...

Prioritizing your own safety and well-being over someone else's feelings is okay, Juliebird. It's sad that that's a choice you have to make, and it's not easy, but it doesn't make you a bad person, daughter, or sister.

Yeah, that. I think people always have the right to leave a situation in which they are uncomfortable, even if it's with their family.

I continue to have the problem that planning to do any one thing seems to just wipe out the whole day.

Yes! Now I am regretting not bringing the computer home, because theoretically it would have made more sense to do a couple of hours here and there, rather than make it a whole event. Ah well! I think I'm going to bail on the thing tomorrow afternoon, do the work then, and figure out something fun for Monday.