A lack of consistent milk and taking Sudafed led to my tea habit. Mostly the milk part because I'll live through jitters. But I don't drink my coffee black.
(I'm pretty sure waving a tampon in the face of a boss doesn't always work. And wtf, we totally worked around your pumping schedule, lady, do I really have to go there?
If you worked around her breast milk, she can freaking understand tampon timing. Sheesh.
That's boggling, Strix. I can't even think what to say. Don't fuck over the kids, how hard is that?
Um, I'm not entirely sure if the Natter thread even is the place for this (not that I have any idea where is), and I already apologize that it's once again in a skipping-lots-ignoring-ongoing-conversations-and-poking-my-head-for-a-short-time manner, but it's that time of year again, and, yeah, still in a risk of sounding a bit strange:
On Friday evening (as most of you clever people probably already know) starts the Jewish holiday of 'Yom Kippur', which means 'Day of Atonement'.
This is a day of soul searching, of trying to better define our faults to ourselves, and try to accept it upon ourselves to become, at least a little, better people. A day of repenting past wrongs we did, looking and finding it in our hearts to forgive wrongs done to us, and trying to remember to learn from this process in the rest of the days of the year. The holiest day of the year for practicing Jews.
On a rough division, there are two kinds of wrongs people can do: against G-d, and hurting their fellow human beings. In Jewish tradition, if the person committing a sin against G-d is truly sorry for what they did, repenting and taking it upon themselves to try and avoid repeating it, G-d forgives those sins.
The deeds which hurt other people, though, are not so 'easily' and personally forgiven. If somebody did anything to harm another person, they would not be able to cleanse themselves from that deed, no matter how much they'd pray and be sorry and repent and try to do good in the future, unless they make amends with the person who was hurt by that deed. As long as peace between people is not achieved, the 'sin', so to speak, is not 'erased from the books' above.
Regardless of the date in the year, I'd hate to think I'd offended somebody here (or everywhere else, for that matter). I don't think that the attempts of becoming a better person than one already is, is something that needs a date or a certain holiday for it, of course. It's just that, for me, having a certain day in the year to stop my daily runnings around, and think of nothing else but the really important things, is a good reminder of the order of priorities I'd like to have in my life.
So, since Saturday will be, for me, this day of soul-searching, of trying to create a new start in my on-going effort of 'becoming a good human being, or at least a slightly better one', I would like to ask all of you here, if I offended anybody, or hurt any of you lovely people, to tell me about it, and give me the opportunity to apologize, fix it if possible, and also learn from my mistakes, and try to not repeat them (there are so many new ones to practice, why repeat old ones, you know?).
In case I offended anybody, and can't communicate directly with them about it (for whatever reason, especially with my lately irregular internet connection and my ongoing absebce from the computer in the last few months), I can already say that I'm truly sorry. I can honestly say that I didn't mean to - you're all so considerate and thoughtful and generally all-around lovely, that there's absolutely no room for such a thing here. However, I might have had a slip of a keyboard, or mistaken somebody's intentions, or many other possible so forths. Y'all are so understanding, you probably tried to find excuses for me and didn't take offense anyway, but I want to make sure, all the same.
Please don't get me wrong - I'm definitely not trying to go around in a 'holier-than-thou' show off, or force my personal beliefs on others, or make statements which may be understood as criticizing anybody else's beliefs (or lack thereof) and way of living. If anything, being around here, among such a rich versatile group of kind and clever people, has exposed me to a lot more ways of choosing to lead one's life than I've ever had a chance to see before, and has shown me much more of the beauty and richness that is the world we live in.
[Edit: this is especially true this year, with my oh-so-short computer time and internet access, which gave way for too many opportunities to unintentionally miss stuff or seem to ignore (undeliberately!) people or their posts. Even the one thing I tried to maintain posting, their birthdays, didn't work (and I don't even have any excuses for that. I mean, yeah, I get less and less time in front of a computer, and I still have a Completely-Not-Smart Phone, so no Internet there either, but still).
Sometimes in absence you can hurt people just as much as when you're present. Or even more so, only differently. And at the same time, you guys are always so there-for-anybody-who-needs (including little me - even when I don't get to get to the computer, I still know that you're there, that no matter what, if I ask, you're there for me, even after all my absence and lack of giving back). So this is a chance to also post:
Thank you.]
Nilly, as always you are a joy to know and your thoughtful approach to life is inspiring. Best to you and the family.
Separately, speaking of family, it sounds like my dad is doing better. He went back to the ER on Monday, waited for four hours and then was seen for three minutes and sent home. Which is a good thing - they seemed to see good healing progress and no more need for IV antibiotics.
My sister's not freaking out anymore, and I kind of trust her reaction more than his. Or at any rate, I can split the difference between the under- and over-reacters.
Nilly! You are great. Hope everything is good, and know that we are always here for you!
That's good news, brenda.
ita, I hope you're doing OK. Thanks to Polgara and J for taking care!
OK, sorry, guys, but I HAD to get that off my chest...and I also wanted to kind of getting some feedback, of the parental and/or Jewish/raised Jewish persuasion.
OK, I've got a bunch of thoughts on this one. First, M's mother was definitely wrong for not checking the calendar. I know that, any time anyone asks me about doing anything in September or October, my first thought is "Let me check if that's a holiday." And lying to him about it is crap. I can totally understand not wanting him to go, once she realized -- "You can't do fun stuff on Yom Kippur" is pretty standard (see: Sandy Koufax) -- but this is not the way to do it.
It also sounds to me like there was a substantial financial commitment to the trip, which can't be refunded. So she's wasting not only her own money, but money her son's father AND her son put out.
Nilly, the only thing I can be sorry about with you is that you're not here more often, but being that you have way more important things going on in your life (career, marriage, SMALL CHILDREN) it's not the kind of sorry you should be responsible for -- the sorry is on me and my selfishness, if that makes sense.
Is there a point where the kid gets to go on his camping trip after all? If Mom tells him the night before he leaves, shouldn't there be a Too Late To Stop This penalty?
Connie, no. There is no point, unless she does a 180, which is not likely. And yes, I believe there IS and SHOULD be a Too Late To Stop This penalty
Thank you, Hil. Checking the calendar was incumbent on her. And this fantastic kid is going to be DEVASTATED, and it's her fault. If he gets told (FINALLY) tonight, that 1 1/2 days before the trip.
And see, Nilly, (you have NEVER offended me, you wonderful person, and proved beautifully without realizing it one of my points about why I'm so angry about this situation) is that this day is about atonement and forgiveness, and she has never once apologized to D for cheating on him, being emotionally abusive or leaving their finances/house in a huge mess -- basically causing him pain up till this very day.
I find her insistence on M observing the day without her doing the things that make the day the most High Holy Day EXTREMELY hypocritical, and that drives me bonkers.
Again, my issue is NOT with Yom Kippur being the most important holiday of the year; it's how horribly she is handling the situation, and hurting my stepson in the process. If he'd been told he couldn't go on the trip in the first place because it was Yom Kippur, I would have been completely supportive. Even though I'm personally agnostic.
THANK YOU all so much for listening to me rant and work through this. I'm talking to D about it, too, but we have to talk about other things, so we won't go crazy! -er. Crazier.
Nilly, you've done nothing to offend me. And thank you for such a thoughtful post. I always love seeing your pixels, whether in long form or brief.
Strix, your stepson's mother sounds like quite a piece of work.
In much more mundane news, I have a cold. At least I don't have to decide whether or not to call in sick to work. Also, I have two interviews in the next wo weeks, with a possible third (th date and time hasn't been nailed down yet). The third is for a position I'd given up on months ago, in Olympia, WA. That would be cool.
Some news, finally, on the car front. The bad news is that it's probably going to cost me more than "merely" replacing the engine because they're going to rebuild the one I have. The mechanic, who comes highly recommended, just hasn't been able to find a replacement engine with "low" mileage (it's a 10yo car), which he would trust.
So if you remachine/replace the bad parts, it costs a bit more because you're not getting a package deal (as it were) with a replacement engine. And it's a good idea to replace some of the non-broken bits, like hoses to ensure the engine will run for years to come and avoid future maintenance.
The good news is that we're moving forward finally on getting my car fixed. Friday I'll have been a month carless, which works OK when I'm unemployed, but it getting old fast.
