Nilly, as always you are a joy to know and your thoughtful approach to life is inspiring. Best to you and the family.

Separately, speaking of family, it sounds like my dad is doing better. He went back to the ER on Monday, waited for four hours and then was seen for three minutes and sent home. Which is a good thing - they seemed to see good healing progress and no more need for IV antibiotics.

My sister's not freaking out anymore, and I kind of trust her reaction more than his. Or at any rate, I can split the difference between the under- and over-reacters.

Nilly! You are great. Hope everything is good, and know that we are always here for you!

That's good news, brenda.

ita, I hope you're doing OK. Thanks to Polgara and J for taking care!

OK, sorry, guys, but I HAD to get that off my chest...and I also wanted to kind of getting some feedback, of the parental and/or Jewish/raised Jewish persuasion.

OK, I've got a bunch of thoughts on this one. First, M's mother was definitely wrong for not checking the calendar. I know that, any time anyone asks me about doing anything in September or October, my first thought is "Let me check if that's a holiday." And lying to him about it is crap. I can totally understand not wanting him to go, once she realized -- "You can't do fun stuff on Yom Kippur" is pretty standard (see: Sandy Koufax) -- but this is not the way to do it.

It also sounds to me like there was a substantial financial commitment to the trip, which can't be refunded. So she's wasting not only her own money, but money her son's father AND her son put out.

Nilly, the only thing I can be sorry about with you is that you're not here more often, but being that you have way more important things going on in your life (career, marriage, SMALL CHILDREN) it's not the kind of sorry you should be responsible for -- the sorry is on me and my selfishness, if that makes sense.

Is there a point where the kid gets to go on his camping trip after all? If Mom tells him the night before he leaves, shouldn't there be a Too Late To Stop This penalty?

Connie, no. There is no point, unless she does a 180, which is not likely. And yes, I believe there IS and SHOULD be a Too Late To Stop This penalty

Thank you, Hil. Checking the calendar was incumbent on her. And this fantastic kid is going to be DEVASTATED, and it's her fault. If he gets told (FINALLY) tonight, that 1 1/2 days before the trip.

And see, Nilly, (you have NEVER offended me, you wonderful person, and proved beautifully without realizing it one of my points about why I'm so angry about this situation) is that this day is about atonement and forgiveness, and she has never once apologized to D for cheating on him, being emotionally abusive or leaving their finances/house in a huge mess -- basically causing him pain up till this very day.

I find her insistence on M observing the day without her doing the things that make the day the most High Holy Day EXTREMELY hypocritical, and that drives me bonkers.

Again, my issue is NOT with Yom Kippur being the most important holiday of the year; it's how horribly she is handling the situation, and hurting my stepson in the process. If he'd been told he couldn't go on the trip in the first place because it was Yom Kippur, I would have been completely supportive. Even though I'm personally agnostic.

THANK YOU all so much for listening to me rant and work through this. I'm talking to D about it, too, but we have to talk about other things, so we won't go crazy! -er. Crazier.

Nilly, you've done nothing to offend me. And thank you for such a thoughtful post. I always love seeing your pixels, whether in long form or brief.

Strix, your stepson's mother sounds like quite a piece of work.

In much more mundane news, I have a cold. At least I don't have to decide whether or not to call in sick to work. Also, I have two interviews in the next wo weeks, with a possible third (th date and time hasn't been nailed down yet). The third is for a position I'd given up on months ago, in Olympia, WA. That would be cool.

Some news, finally, on the car front. The bad news is that it's probably going to cost me more than "merely" replacing the engine because they're going to rebuild the one I have. The mechanic, who comes highly recommended, just hasn't been able to find a replacement engine with "low" mileage (it's a 10yo car), which he would trust.

So if you remachine/replace the bad parts, it costs a bit more because you're not getting a package deal (as it were) with a replacement engine. And it's a good idea to replace some of the non-broken bits, like hoses to ensure the engine will run for years to come and avoid future maintenance.

The good news is that we're moving forward finally on getting my car fixed. Friday I'll have been a month carless, which works OK when I'm unemployed, but it getting old fast.

Nilly, you have never offended me; I can't even imagine that happening. It's always good to see you here!

Strix, I am so furious on Micah's behalf, I want to find that hypocritical, cruel, selfish, thoughtless woman and... and gently explain to her why she is wrong. Repeatedly. With a shovel.

M is going to be so very, very pissed. Which seems to be against the whole point of the holy day.