My plants all die, and I'm embarrassed to even mention how infrequently I shower. I love showers and feeling clean, I just love sleep more.

Sleep! Yes, that also.

Bob and I barely change or shower during this maternity leave, but at least we make up for it environmentally by the water needed for this house's breast-milk production/consumption hygienic-industrial complex.

I'm supposed to shower every--that's what it feels like I'm deviating from, but I really like showering. I hate being naked in the chill. I hate all the different washes, and remembering to rinse shampoo (I have hair???). And these days, no lie, I hate moving.

I was diagnosed with a bulging disk casually on Monday when they gave me the big D. Slept upright that night and moved very little until deciding I could totally drive to Santa Monica myself (inflicting other people on the cross 405 traffic is one of my least favourite things, whether I pay them to or not.) There I was officially diagnosed with one.

The steroids kicked in way fast--I was skeptical because I've been given them for migraines and they made zero difference, but they took at #10 down to a #2 in three (artificially induced sleep) hours, and as long as I don't upset my stomach with them, they're magic. It does remind me that I have cervical facet disease on my other side (because it's not being yelled over anymore), which means my "this procedure never works 100% was pretty much a lie--I just didn't know I was being left with disk pain. So next step is MRI and then epidural--but what do you do permanently for theses?

SAY IF YOU HAD INCOME????

Steroids say to take with meals. Pain says to take appetite. I'm juggling by using Benefiber which says will slow down the absorption of medication.

But I am terrified. Of pretty much everything. I freaked out the ER guys on Monday, and Tuesday I was constructing elaborate deaths for everyone in the office if they failed me.

I'm too terrified to ask how long the steroids last. I'm terrified of moving the wrong way. I'm terrified of moving suddenly (especially when driving) and hitting a pain wall. I'm terrified of my entire body. I don't want it anymore. Nothing is worth this. Zero. Nada. Zip. Rien. Zilch.

I'm tired of being terrified.

Oh ita, honey. A bulging disk is not good. I hope the MRI and the epidural can help -- I know it has for others I've known, like my mom.

bon, how is baby!bon?

Oh, god, ita, I can't believe you have another pain source to withstand. So unfair! I hope, as always, for safe, effective and speedy treatment.

Hubby has gotten (steroid?) shots for his spine issues, and they're generally good for a couple of months. Pills, not so much. Surgically, if the disk is bulging, they can shave it. Teppy had that, I think.

ETA: spinal issues can impact the weirdest places.

Surgically, if the disk is bulging, they can shave it. Teppy had that, I think.

The surgeon removed part of the bulging discs, but there's still some intact in there.

I've heard epidural steroid injections are pretty effective for bulging discs.

Babybon is very good-- he's not sleeping through the night, but his sleep hygiene is pretty good. He just learned social smiling, which is so gratifying, I can't even say. He is getting more expressive lately, making more varied sounds. Very cute.

And we are buying a house! After six months of hunting we close in three weeks.

Already with the social smiling! Wow!

And congrats on the house