Happy birthday, Lee!!

Tom -- have you tried something physical, like boxing or krav maga? Also, writing is incredibly useful in therapy -- you can say anything, and then you can keep it, burn it, rip it up, whatever.

Not a pro, just some thoughts.

still think Richard should be buried in York.

Startled me a bit to read that first thing in the morning.

Happy birthday, Lee!

Is it free-floating anger, Tom, or anger at specific people/situations? Do you fear that if you let it out at a "deserving" target, that you wouldn't be able to react appropriately to other aggravating situations? Also, remember that anger can be a sign/symptom of depression, anxiety, and other things. (I decided I needed meds when I was way overblowing how annoyed I was vs should be at the TSA and lines and people in them--they can be obnoxious/annoying, but not THAT bad usually!) Best of luck. Do you feel like the therapy is helping?

I'm angry at my parents; except that they're my parents and I love them and I don't want to be angry at them. I also don't want to be like my dad.

Connie - I agree.

And Rick can be buried anywhere he likes.

Anger is a hard emotion to deal with, Tom. It's wonderful that you can even recognize it's there and needs some kind of attention.

At the risk of getting all woo, maybe meditation? Not to try to calm yourself down or not be angry, but to give you a setting where you can be angry and not have to do anything about it, just let the anger arise and not feel bad about having it or need to fix it or express it. That is, of course, not as easy as it might be either, but it's pretty cool when it happens.

Many happy returns, Lee!

Also loving all the Richard III news!

I'm angry at my parents; except that they're my parents and I love them and I don't want to be angry at them.

You can be angry at them and still love them. It's a weird place, mentally and emotionally (particularly if you were raised like I was and you weren't allowed to be angry at your parents), but -- you can love them and still be angry at them. In fact, you can love them, be angry at them, AND never express that anger TO them (if doing so would be totally unproductive).

Eventually you have to feel your anger, even if you think it's overwhelming enough to destroy the world. (Remember the episode of Angel -- stay with me here -- with the woman who had telekinetic power, and an abusive shithead of a father, and when the father showed up, all the windows in the Hyperion exploded out, because, hey, traumatic telekinetic reaction to abusive shithead father? My anger felt like that, like I would blow shit up if I let it out. It still feels like that sometimes, like I could Hulk the fuck out and destroy the world.)

I also don't want to be like my dad.

I feel that. God, do I feel that. I just tend to think that, because you're actively dealing with this, you're way ahead of the game. You're extremely likely to be aware of any tendencies you have to be like your dad, and to deal with them.

Having fucked-up parents (who you still love) really blows. Hard. And I wish you didn't have to deal with it. But, in case you don't have perspective right now, you've been dealing with it so well. You really, really have.

What Tep--and others--have said, Tom. You are dealing with it. And you have an amazing heart. We're all on your side.

Happy Birthday to Lee!

with cake!

And candles! Or sparklers--your choice.