Then my mom called for a "quick question" and after I told her that my day was going to shit and there was too much to do, she continued to ramble. Including the classic, "well, I'll let you go --oh, there was this funny thing the dog did...". And I seriously considered telling her I had to go and hanging up on her. But fuck, that's rude, especially since she's my mom, and I know she's going crazy dealing with the fucked up men in our family (always include my sweet dad in that statement, because he'd happily let his first son drink himself to death in my room if it meant he didn't have to acknowledge that things were not pleasant and copacetic).
I think I need a prescription of Prozac or something. I am passionately angry all the time now. I have to admit that it's not just stress or PMSing, I have become an angry person. I am caustic and negative, and things really aren't that bad (if you ignore the psychopathic part of me that wishes for my elder brother's death, and admit that I am disturbed enough that that really isn't a stressor).
It sounds like a lot of stress from multiple sources, Juliebird. Anger's not a surprising reaction. But if the stressors can't be changed, getting some medical support could help. I needed antidepressants when caring for my dying dad, and they were tremendously helpful.
I also enter the house through the kitchen, so knives are pretty close, but would also back back out again if I thought there were trouble.
I would have to defend myself with books. And possibly the Spray-n-Wash, which is by the door for doing laundry.
Hah! Keep a can of hairspray on the foyer table, and a lighter. Instant flamethrower.
My apartment is the farthest from the front door of our building, so if someone's in there it means either everyone else in the building has already been robbed and I don't stand a chance, or they have keys and are probably my sister, babysitter, or husband.
Noises from inside my house are most likely cats. Possibly cats that are not my cats and therefore technically intruders, but I'm not gonna grab a weapon to deal with them.
That said, the water-turn-off-thing is right by the door, but more so I know where it is than to be a handy weapon. My plan if I came home and thought something was terribly is to stay outside and call 911, maybe knock on a neighbor's door.
I now have a 3' length of steel pipe. It's very 'in the basement with the butler.'
While on hold with verizon, internet came back. Of course. But I have the logs indicating is it going up and down and up and down at will. But I think I'm done with them. I need a better connection speed and would like to get off my ancient phone lines.
My apartment is the farthest from the front door of our building, so if someone's in there it means either everyone else in the building has already been robbed
Or they want to start in the lowest traffic area. Near the front door is not good planning.
It's a consideration.
