It's been my experience that hanging on to anger and resentment does me little good, and doesn't hurt the other person at all: if they're sufficiently toxic, they'll think it's funny I'm spending so much emotional energy on them. And if they're just oblivious, it won't mean anything at all to them.
But you know, there's a difference between deliberately "hanging on to" anger and resentment, and just, still actually being very angry and resentful. You can't "let it go" before you've worked it out; you can't just stop feeling what you're feeling. The fact that the other person isn't affected by my anger is not the point. I'm not being angry in order to hurt them with it. If I could just shrug off my anger as if what they did meant nothing to me, then I probably wouldn't be angry at all. And in some cases, I think anger does do the angry person some good; acknowledging and feeling honest anger that's been repressed and denied is a powerful thing. What you do with the anger is what makes it either destructive or healing. Most people don't know what to do with anger except destructive things, because our society teaches us to either not feel it or let it out explosively.
Happy birthday, Plei! I would totally move into a Buffista Melrose Place, except that I want my Canadian healthcare.
I had a terrible night with my tooth aching and stayed home today. I went back to the dentist today where he gave me steroids and antibiotics to get me through the weekend. Also he made a referral to an endodontist to see if I need a root canal. I think the endodonist was a super cute guy in my Junior High. We'll see what he looks like now.
Speaking of Canadian healthcare, my dentist is a total mensch and didn't even bill me for today's visit.
Also, I have an interview next Friday for the job in Warsaw. With all the teeth stuff going on, I am not really thinking about it. Eeeee!
What I meant to post was an anxiety/depression update:
My sister tricked me into exercising by bringing over shears to cut back my unruly holly bushes. Of course once we got started we kept going, so now the whole front garden has a haircut, the morning glory vines are all ripped down (fret not, they're immortal), the invasive weeds and mint are mostly pulled up, the iris leaves are trimmed away from the AC unit, and the invasion of the zombie climbing rose is once again thwarted. And it's hot and humid AF, so I feel all accomplished.
Exercise really is good for depression. Ironic that it's so damn hard to exercise when you're depressed.
I checked my BP after showering and it was 114/70. My BP has never been that low. Guess the meds are finally working. (It's hilarious how easy it is to type BO instead of BP, too.)
And now it's time for food and electrolytes.
ALSO Happy Birthday, PLEI!
Tricksy sister, with the stealth exercise! IIRC, gardening is also good for depression and stress (like, actually clinically measurably someone-did-a-study-to-confirm-it good, not just "This sounds truthy!" good).
Such an abundance of happy birthdayness to Plei!
But you know, there's a difference between deliberately "hanging on to" anger and resentment, and just, still actually being very angry and resentful.
Yes! This puts so well what I was trying to say.
I think a lot of people, women especially, feel like they should never be angry, but it is a perfectly cromulent emotion like other emotions.
It's after 2:00, and they just put out the ice cream for the first Ice Cream Friday of the summer.
I may actually survive this week after all.
What are people doing this weekend?
What are people doing this weekend?
Cleaning and cooking tomorrow for Father's Day brunch at our house on Sunday.
Hooray ice cream!
I'm running a 5K on Sunday. Chocolate and champagne at the finish line.
