I sort of wish I was the kind of person who had enough grace and mercy to believe that no one should get the death penalty. But I also remember very vividly here in Texas when they convicted the guys who tied a black man to the back of their truck and dragged him to death, and I thought, "I want those people off my planet."

I sort of wish I was the kind of person who had enough grace and mercy to believe that no one should get the death penalty.

Yeah, I struggle with this. On the one hand, I know that the application and use of the death penalty is totally racist and unreliable in terms of guilt. On the other hand, some people I feel like death is almost too good. And then I think I'm a bad person for thinking that. And then I think about whether or not I believe in Heaven and Hell, and if there is no afterlife, then what is a just punishment anyway? Etc. Etc.

Also, go Jesse with the work! I did a few of the things that needed doing, and put a few off until Monday. Now i watched Grey's from last night and am watching Jane the Virgin from earlier this week.

I wish my objection to the death penalty was moral or humanist or something big and good, but it is financial. It may not even be the case anymore what with for profit prisons, but it used to be the case that with the automatic appeals and the rules surrounding death penalty, that it cost more than life in prison without opportunity for parole.

I object to the death penalty because too often convictions are racist and/or classist, and too often we convict the wrong person. Also because I believe in the possibility of redemption, as long as they can't go on hurting people while we're waiting for their spiritual epiphany. But there are people I really want out of society, off the planet, and preferably out of the gene pool, and it's hard in certain horrible cases not to think, "Yeah... just shoot 'em."

On a totally different subject, I too am wearing a maxi dress, only because yoga pants and the t-shirt I slept in were too hot. I hate hot humid summers, and this one has started way too early. It's only May; it shouldn't be 78 degrees F and 55% humidity already. As I do every summer, I'm wishing I'd bought a house in the PNW instead.

I have gone to the grocery store and CVS, and was feeling real good about adulting until I remembered I forgot to file my state taxes. They owe me money, maybe they won't care? I don't even know when the deadline was/is. Also don't know where the paperwork is. Good job, Self.

I helped my sister move. And juggled like 9000 conference calls.

I reviewed a Coursera course and wrote an internal blog post about it. Which meant I rolled through a four week course in seven hours. Good thing it was short and interesting (pedagogy in art class).

ETA: And, ya know, I spent most of yesterday and today feeling pretty happy with life. Plenty of things I'd like to change, both personally and globally, but on the whole these were a good couple of days. I don't think I've felt this generally positive for a long time. [Looks around for incoming asteroid]

I agree with what everyone said about the racism and the classism and the general dodginess. Not really about the redemption, though.

But then my lizard brain takes over.

I went to a Cubs game, drank some beers, then left during the seventh-inning stretch and walked home. I picked up some groceries and made tacos. I'm going to try to relax this weekend and not spend the entire time flipping out like a mammal over career stuff. I'm going to brunch tomorrow and we're gathering somewhere for hockey on Sunday, so that should help.

My reasons to oppose the death penalty are a little different. I think that killing people, even if it is the worst person on earth, a Tsarnaev or a Manson (who after all is still alive) is wrong. Because in my opinion, any time a society kills somebody it diminishes that society. Killing somebody harms the killer (Unless they are somebody who has already fallen so low they are beyond being harmed.) I'm not a pacifist. I think there are times when self-defense leaves killing the least worst choice. But even those times hurt the person who does it. I mean of course we get tremendous PSTD from unjust wars like - well quite honestly almost every war the USA has been in since WWII. But quite a few soldiers came back from WWII broken. "Just War" may make the price paid necessary. But it does not diminish that price. There is some evidence that killing another human is an inherently traumatic experience - maybe baked into our biology. (I am always very suspicious of evolutionary psychology - even when it reinforces my prejudices; too many just-so stories. But there is as good evidence for this as for components of any other aspect of human behavior.)

Thus, killing should be limited to the cases where basically society has no other way to keep the person from doing harm - to immediate threats. Once someone is imprisoned, they are no longer a threat. There are no real life Hannibal Lectors or supervillains - killers who no prison can hold. Locking up the bad guys keeps us safe enough. The satisfaction of revenge and the small chance that they might escape is not worth the harm to us of killing them. My opposition to the death penalty is selfish; I think it makes the world a worse place to live in.

And it is no accident that it is usually unjust in practice. Having a death penalty is part of what makes us a more callous society, ready to act on our prejudices and worst instincts. I'm not claiming it is the main cause; but it is a damn good reinforcing factor in something that has a multitude of causes.

I'm with Typo Boy in my reasoning. And I'm disappointed that a jury from my state would reach this decision.