Having anxiety - not attacks, let's say anxiety rumbles - today. No reason. Nothing is going on that warrants anxiety. Going to get pedicures and see AoU with a friend tonight, so I have to dye my hair; that's it, that's the most anxiety-producing thing in my life right now. Come on, brain, ease off.

I finally found a med that makes the anxiety better. It also seems to make my hair fall out. Fuck.

What med?

My stomach's been upset for the last week and I haven't been eating much. I'm pretty sure it's stress-related. I stopped consuming caffeine, soda, fruit juice and tomato stuff, which seems to have helped some.

Smuggling astronomers? Shocking! :)

Argh. One of the programs/websites I need to use today does not seem to be responding. Grr.

Smuggling astronomers? Shocking! :)

I read this as snuggling astronomers!

What med?

Topamax. Hair loss isn't listed as one of the "official" side effects, but checking online I found a lot of people claiming it happened. I don't know what else to attribute it to, unless maybe one of the BP meds, but I wasn't on any of them for very long.

It's probably telogen effluvium, which means it'll grow back in about three months after the med clears my system, so it's probably not permanent. I found the med still works for me at a very low dose, so maybe it wouldn't happen, but I'm afraid to risk it. I lost about an inch of my front hairline to a mysterious autoimmune flareup, and I hate the way that looks, and I can't bear the idea of losing any more hair.

That sucks, Zenkitty. You shouldn't have to make the choice between your mental health and your hair.

I am full of anxiety because of all the trying to find a new job stuff. I'm having a lot of frank career discussions that I don't want to have. I don't know what to expect from my performance evaluation. I'm walking around convinced that nobody wants to hire me because I suck and annoyed that nobody wants to hire me because I'm awesome.

Back at work today. I liked jury duty better.

I have 5 mistakes to fix that people made while I was out. Almost done with them.

Then I have a series of things to do for month end closing tomorrow. Done about half.

Then I keep going over to tumblr and wasting time.

Thanks, shrift. Complaining about it makes me feel whiny and ungrateful, but I really really want my hair back. If a genie gave me a choice between getting the hair I had at 25 or the figure I had at 25, I'd take the hair.

I am full of anxiety because of all the trying to find a new job stuff.

I'm in Chicago, at the swank-ass hotel, and I just had lunch with client #2, who informed me that they're making all proofreading in-house staff after October (i.e., no more freelance).

On the one hand, FUCK. On the other hand, at least he gave me a lot of notice. And this is the flaky client who doesn't pay on time and loads me down with work the last 2 weeks of the month and has depressing as hell subject matter (pathology, so -- cancer and death, whee).

I'm trying to think of this as an opportunity, not the loss of 1/3 of my income.

I might just take a nap until dinner.

My husband has unlocked a very important internet milestone - this guy recorded an 8-minute rant about an article he wrote (which he admits in the rant he did not read, about a movie he did not see). It is NSFW because language and also shouting, but if you have 8 minutes to spare and a pair of headphones, it is AMAZING.