What med?

Topamax. Hair loss isn't listed as one of the "official" side effects, but checking online I found a lot of people claiming it happened. I don't know what else to attribute it to, unless maybe one of the BP meds, but I wasn't on any of them for very long.

It's probably telogen effluvium, which means it'll grow back in about three months after the med clears my system, so it's probably not permanent. I found the med still works for me at a very low dose, so maybe it wouldn't happen, but I'm afraid to risk it. I lost about an inch of my front hairline to a mysterious autoimmune flareup, and I hate the way that looks, and I can't bear the idea of losing any more hair.

That sucks, Zenkitty. You shouldn't have to make the choice between your mental health and your hair.

I am full of anxiety because of all the trying to find a new job stuff. I'm having a lot of frank career discussions that I don't want to have. I don't know what to expect from my performance evaluation. I'm walking around convinced that nobody wants to hire me because I suck and annoyed that nobody wants to hire me because I'm awesome.

Back at work today. I liked jury duty better.

I have 5 mistakes to fix that people made while I was out. Almost done with them.

Then I have a series of things to do for month end closing tomorrow. Done about half.

Then I keep going over to tumblr and wasting time.

Thanks, shrift. Complaining about it makes me feel whiny and ungrateful, but I really really want my hair back. If a genie gave me a choice between getting the hair I had at 25 or the figure I had at 25, I'd take the hair.

I am full of anxiety because of all the trying to find a new job stuff.

I'm in Chicago, at the swank-ass hotel, and I just had lunch with client #2, who informed me that they're making all proofreading in-house staff after October (i.e., no more freelance).

On the one hand, FUCK. On the other hand, at least he gave me a lot of notice. And this is the flaky client who doesn't pay on time and loads me down with work the last 2 weeks of the month and has depressing as hell subject matter (pathology, so -- cancer and death, whee).

I'm trying to think of this as an opportunity, not the loss of 1/3 of my income.

I might just take a nap until dinner.

My husband has unlocked a very important internet milestone - this guy recorded an 8-minute rant about an article he wrote (which he admits in the rant he did not read, about a movie he did not see). It is NSFW because language and also shouting, but if you have 8 minutes to spare and a pair of headphones, it is AMAZING.

Sorry for the loss of the client, Teppy.

I'm on my way home, where I shall nap as well.

See you soon, tommyrot!

You shouldn't have to make the choice between your mental health and your hair.

So true.

Sorry the income is going away, Tep. I hope you can find a less flaky client to pay you more and be less demanding.

Ooh, that is impressive, Jess! Just the achievement, I don't have 8 minutes right now. Marked for later.

Which reminds me, I think I take more breaks when I'm at the office than when I'm working from home. That does not seem right to me.

Also I don't think I'm up for the double feature tonight, Which is fine, really, Saturday morning will be good and watching Avengers without all the other Marvel sequels wouldn't especially prepare me for Ultron that well anyway.

Also, also: lunch, I should have some of that.

Complaining about it makes me feel whiny and ungrateful

I think complaining about this is totally reasonable! You're not whining about, say, What A Man Might Think If You Cut Your Hair! Your situation is more like a Sophie's Choice.

I'm trying to think of this as an opportunity, not the loss of 1/3 of my income.

You are getting rid of a flaky, demanding, and mentally taxing client and have six months to find a better client who pays on time and maybe doesn't make you contemplate death.

Celebrate that with a nap.