Timelies all!

Went out to brunch with my folks, then hit Barnes and Noble.(Most of us had gift cards to use.) Now we are trying to watch Pacific Rim by hooking up Gary's laptop to the tv.

I want to run away to a Buddhist monastery. I've considered this fairly seriously in the past, and one of my more flexible friends just got out of one, and it's supposed to be lifechanging.

I need my life changed. I also need to get my insurance organised, because I am still current without and therefore can't pick up prescriptions nor go to doctor to complain of residual pain.

OY. PAPERWORK.

TB--take care of yourself. Grey understood.

I put my dilaudid session on Skype to try and de-traumatise my parents. My father just likes to know stuff, but my mother could barely watch and she's the one who's had chemo. Goes both ways.

This has been your Medical Science Minute.

Thank you, Medical Science Woman! Now I know!

You know, if someone offered me a deal where I sign over my house and in exchange get to live in a dormitory with housekeeping and meals provided I would seriously consider it.

Tempting.

Lord. Concern troll friend finally replied about the fatty having the nerve to get a Blizzard:

"On the other hand... Is it different if you see someone engaged in unhealthy behavior in other circumstances. Diabetic friend having soda? Lung cancer survivor smoking? Homeless person asking for money later seen hitting the pipe? All have an addiction and choice element to it, and all have relatively clear consequences, some more visible than others. Hard to know everyone's circumstances but have we become too tolerant of unhealthy choices with the help of marketing? This is different than fat shaming. It's behavior and choice judgement. Hard to say whether we do it too much or too little."

HARD TO SAY IF WE FAT-SHAME TOO LITTLE. Ass. Ass ass ass.

So I replied:

I think that when it comes to a stranger, whose life and circumstances you know nothing about, who you're driving past and seeing literally one glimpse into their life -- it is fat shaming. Because you don't know if that fat person subsists entirely on Blizzards, or if she's on her way home from chemo and a cold frozen concoction is all she can keep down. All you know about her is her size and what she is drinking at one snapshot isolated moment in time. Maybe she was sharing the Blizzard with her spouse. Would that be okay -- or less bad -- since sharing would reduce the amount of calories she was taking in?

All I'm suggesting is that you consider that we can't know any of this when we drive past a stranger and see them holding food or a beverage.

If it's *not* a stranger -- well, then it's up to each person as to what level of advice (solicited or not) they want to give to a friend/co-worker/loved one on his/her choices. In that case, you know more of their life circumstances, and have a larger knowledge base to draw from. That's very different from making an assumption based on one isolated glimpse of a stranger's actions.

Now, in truth, I think that "Fat Friend, stop eating Blizzards!" is going to have one effect: you will lose that friend. But I still meant it the way I phrased it: it is totally up to Concern Troll Friend to decide if he wants to concern troll his friends and family. But he's an ass if he does.

This is different than fat shaming. It's behavior and choice judgement. Hard to say whether we do it too much or too little."

He's not fat-shaming, it's everything-shaming. So don't take it so personally, jeez! t /eye-roll 4EVAH

He's not fat-shaming, it's everything-shaming.

That's fair. He's just being a dick across the board. No crack, no cigarettes, and NO BLIZZARDS.

No crack, no cigarettes, and NO BLIZZARDS.

Well, at least I'll still have my wine and nachos.

I judge you. Because it's hard to say if we judge enough, so I'd better do some more just to be sure.

t edit I mean, I'm judging the HELL out of him right now.

(It's weird, because this guy is generally a good guy about most things. People just have some areas where they get weird. AND JUDGEY.)

Hard to say whether we do it too much or too little

Judging other people's choices and behavior? We do it too much.

That wasn't hard at all.

I spilled most of my allspice into my measuring spoon drawer and ran out of soy sauce (even the packets from getting takeout!) but I have approximated a goodly quantity of pork bao filling. I think I might make it into meatballs and simmer them in miso broth, that sounds good.

But will not be ready for lunch. Hm.

Wait ...it is wrong for someone with diabetes to drink soda? Sorry, while it would be a bad choice for me right now because of what I ate for breakfast this morning....but if my blood sugar is low it might be the fastest choice. You don't know.

sorry, there is a knee jerk there. One of my friends is adding another drug for diabetes to his routine. All of his other numbers are improving - and yet his wife believes he could do more with diet. I want to be angry with her, but really she just doesn't know and is concerned about his health.

So,rule one: if it is a stranger - all judgments must stay in your own head. You are just rude otherwise. Rule two, even if it is someone you know, be really careful about what you say.