strip the (oops. forgot) winter decor off the front door broom and replace with spring stuff

I just tossed my mother's wreath yesterday! Oops.

Andi, is this the same Troublesome Food Cow-worker you've had problems with before?

Yeah, pretty sure she's come up before. To be fair I think that, unlike Beverly's mom, she does not think she knows better than the doctors and dieticians. I think she simply does not see the difference between the information and instruction we have been given and what she is doing. Dietician says, "It's not that you can never have ice cream; but you can't do it all the time and you have to watch those portion sizes." I come away from that thinking, oh hell yeah, three or four times a year we'll buy a pint of Haagen Daaz and we'll use those cute little parfait bowls. It'll be a special treat, just like ice cream should be! And I can plan ahead and have a little bit lighter menu for the rest of the day - big salad, marinated grilled chicken breasts, homemade vinaigrette easy on the olive oil... Coworker comes away from that thinking, Ok great, not every day. If we buy a half gallon of store brand ice cream three or four times a month, and we serve it in cereal bowls instead of soup bowls that'll be moderate portions. Hey look, we're having chili tonight. What? They put a recipe for vegetarian chili on the menu? That's just icky, all that celery! How can you have chili without lots of beef? Well fine, but I can't eat chili without putting spaghetti in it. And a teeny bit of sour cream and shredded cheese...

flea, that's just about "ready to gnaw a limb off to escape" annoying.

Suzi, yay for the raise. Not so yay for the blah new logo.

My FiL is grossly overweight and has diabetes. My MiL does not want to have to cook "special" meals for him, so he eats what she eats. She exercises and only take small portions, so she's healthy. He eats huge helpings and barely moves, so it just keeps getting worse. He says he "can't" eat less because he's too hungry. She says she shouldn't be responsible for what he does and keeps piling the food on his plate.

Never let two narcissists marry, kids. It's not a pretty sight.

I could've had so much fun, but I just changed her password and then disabled the account.

This is usually what I do, especially when Australian dude signs up for anything where I get private data like tax information, because apparently I care about his information security more than he does. But I figured it might be a dick move to delete a baby registry that she may have shared with people already.

shrift, I can't imagine anybody being unimpressed with you--you should be the favorite female adult role model among young, impressionable rellies.

Family has a way of being unimpressed with you.

Scrappy, without knowing them, I'd have to side with your mother in law. Except that she shouldn't be piling anyone's plate full other than her own. I've been around too many people who don't take their own health seriously, and cast blame on others. Nope. Grown adult? Make bed and lie in it, without dragging anyone else into it.

Scrappy, can you convince him to maybe make some extra veg on the side so that he can still have a full plate but less of whatever your mother-in-law is making? Frozen veg in the microwave is fairly easy.

Dear Mortgage Dude,

I would like to close as scheduled on Thursday morning early. Therefore, I need you to *tell me the total amount of money I need to send you*. Before my bank closes at 12pm tomorrow, which I informed you 5 hours ago.

Signed, it's COB and you are not answering my eeeeeemail.

I love when people start sniping each other on my eBay auctions.

Ugh. I hear that pain and annoyance, flea. So much.