I should add, he is not failing. He failed 2 midterms, but semester grades are 2 As, 3 Bs, and 1 C.

Thing is he could easily have all As - AND he complains about the behavior of kids in his classes. I have told him over and over 1) not he nor I can control what other kids do. 2) the only way to get away from the kids is to get into the advanced classes.

Let him fail is one of the next options. Full on removal of direct consequence. House rules of 1 hour of screen time a night, 1 hour mandatory minimum of homework (you provide or I make up), 30 min trombone, 30 minutes reading. Bed by 8:30-9. I do not check grades, I do not hound.

I do not have it in me to give up all my tv and computer time to do things with him 3 hours a night.

Kat, he could get held back. If he fails a class for the 6 weeks he has mandatory tutoring. And then all the pathway consequences that he will be stuck in for the rest of high school.

so then I read an article like this: [link]

This article also uses an example of a non-parent working with a group of kids. Extremely different dynamic from a parent-child relationship.

I've gone through similar challenges with CJ. Consequences do NOTHING for him. Rewards do NOTHING for him. I've hit a point where I just point certain things out to him and let those chips fall where they may. I insist he helps keep the house clean but I don't go near his room. As long as there isn't anything growing in there that is. No dishes, no garbage. I know he is older but it has been a struggle for years with no good solution discovered. I keep reminding him that next year, in college, he is truly on his own for getting to and from class, doing his classwork, and striving for his goals.

It is hard to say, maybe he'll just be a C kid and let it go.

And, if held back, he might end up with the kids he most dislikes being with.

Oh, msbelle, I feel your pain. At least my son Brendon could be bribed into doing work and was reward motivated. Bobby, not so much. My biggest frustration was how much less effort it would be to just do the damned work than it was to fight about it.

FWIW, Bobby did mature and by high school he set his alarm and got up on his own, did his work, etc. He has pretty much been no effort since 10th grade.

Even with the slider, I still see the light color as periwinkle or ice blue.

This. I have never seen the white option. Although DH saw it on the same tv I was watching, although it changed for him and then he could only see blue/black.

Yep. Just looks periwinkle to me too.

I could also go full scorched Earth and: remove everything except books and clothes and furniture from his room and require he stay in common areas of the house until bedtime.

Bossman bitching:

Yesterday he said that unless a coworker expressly asked him to do something (something that is already part of his job) he couldn't be bothered to do it. Even though she had already explained the things she needed his help with.

Today, he said to me "I didn't hear what she said" and when I opened my mouth to tell him what she'd said (because that was the inference I'd made from him taking the time to make that statement) he cut me off with "I don't actually want to know".

Later he was grumbling about something else, and then musing what a grouch he was, but I let the opportunity slide where I could have said "As a competent adult, you might want to do something about that in a professional capacity".

Then later he declared that our Maple Sugar Festival was his least favorite event. I did ask him if it was because of the snow removal we were doing (which was something that should have been done after every snowfall, when it would have been easier, and really should have been done after every snowfall because it was fire egresses and handicap accessibility that we were chipping hardpacked ice out of) and he replied vaguely that it was his own personal issues. Okay, well, this isn't a personal issue, this is a business and professional issue, leave your personal shit at the door. Which I didn't say. Also, you can't hate the event because it hasn't happened yet.

Oh, and earlier, when he was bitching about shoveling, he asked if there had been this much snow last year for the event, and I said there had been more. His reply was how we were too stupid to learn from our mistakes.

I am full up and done with his negative comments and isolationist attitude where if something isn't in line with his own goals, he finds a way to disparage it. This is a fun event that engages the community and is high on mission (education), and if he'd done his job right the first time around, we wouldn't be doing this last minute laborious nonsense that still has absolutely nothing to do with the event and everything to do with not getting cited by the fire department or fined by whomever deals with ADA accessibility.

Gah!