I could also go full scorched Earth and: remove everything except books and clothes and furniture from his room and require he stay in common areas of the house until bedtime.

Bossman bitching:

Yesterday he said that unless a coworker expressly asked him to do something (something that is already part of his job) he couldn't be bothered to do it. Even though she had already explained the things she needed his help with.

Today, he said to me "I didn't hear what she said" and when I opened my mouth to tell him what she'd said (because that was the inference I'd made from him taking the time to make that statement) he cut me off with "I don't actually want to know".

Later he was grumbling about something else, and then musing what a grouch he was, but I let the opportunity slide where I could have said "As a competent adult, you might want to do something about that in a professional capacity".

Then later he declared that our Maple Sugar Festival was his least favorite event. I did ask him if it was because of the snow removal we were doing (which was something that should have been done after every snowfall, when it would have been easier, and really should have been done after every snowfall because it was fire egresses and handicap accessibility that we were chipping hardpacked ice out of) and he replied vaguely that it was his own personal issues. Okay, well, this isn't a personal issue, this is a business and professional issue, leave your personal shit at the door. Which I didn't say. Also, you can't hate the event because it hasn't happened yet.

Oh, and earlier, when he was bitching about shoveling, he asked if there had been this much snow last year for the event, and I said there had been more. His reply was how we were too stupid to learn from our mistakes.

I am full up and done with his negative comments and isolationist attitude where if something isn't in line with his own goals, he finds a way to disparage it. This is a fun event that engages the community and is high on mission (education), and if he'd done his job right the first time around, we wouldn't be doing this last minute laborious nonsense that still has absolutely nothing to do with the event and everything to do with not getting cited by the fire department or fined by whomever deals with ADA accessibility.

Gah!

Timelies all!

Tomorrow is the third attempt at the thing that was cancelled last week. Third time's a charm?

msbelle, would it be possible to hire a high school or college kid to sit with him while he does his homework? I know that, when I was a kid, having my mother sit with me when I did my homework was a surefire way to get a meltdown, but if someone else sat with me, it was OK.

As for the dress, when I look at it with my glasses on, it's white. When I take my glasses off, it's periwinkle. I can't find any combination of glasses and light and viewing angle that makes it the royal blue it actually is.

the bigger issue Hil is him not bringing it home. He has a tutor 2 days a week.

I am having an IBS flare-up that even drugs aren't helping. (I have 2 drugs I can take for it, one of which usually works like the nuclear option; I take it, and in less than 10 minutes, everything is chill -- but this time, even that drug isn't doing a damn thing.)

Does anyone have any suggestions beyond heating pad on belly? (Here is where I admit that I've heard mint tea can help, but I hate mint and it would make me barf, which is not what I'm going for.) I am just super crampy bad, and I'm a little annoyed that my body thinks it can just do what it wants without my approval.

I have no idea Steph, but good luck.

Same thing to msbelle, actually. I am full of good wishes but no actual help.

Dad is scheduled for surgery first thing Monday morning. He is under the impression he might even go home that day. I have to go into the office in the morning, but I'll work from home after lunch so I can go be a supportive daughter, since I can.

Dad is scheduled for surgery first thing Monday morning. He is under the impression he might even go home that day.

For a stent? I feel like they would want to keep him overnight just in case there are any complications, but I haven't kept up with how a stent patient is managed these days. It would be GREAT to go home the same day, though, wouldn't it?

Yeah, I'm kind of assuming they'll keep him overnight, but who knows? His friends who have had stents (and who are older than he is and have other health issues) all recovered quickly, so he's very optimistic.

msbelle, I'm just pondering here, and please feel free to ignore me if I'm saying stuff you've already struggled with and answered. Sounds like there's several issues: the not wanting to do homework, the not doing the homework, and the lying about the homework.

Does Mac think that if he doesn't bring his homework home he doesn't have to do it? Does he just forget? Or is it intentional? I mean, when you ask him what he's thinking, what does he say? Does he want to excel in school, and if not, why?

If he won't answer you about that, is there anyone he will talk to, who can investigate this with him? (I guess I'm talking therapy there, and I know you've had him see someone in the past. I suspect he's resistant, yeah?)

I don't know kids but it strikes me the angle is to find what does drive him, and attack it that way. Negative reinforcement isn't doing the job; what kind of positive reinforcement works? Is he competitive with other kids? Can he be bribed or rewarded with special outings or something? Is there a thing that he's interested in that can be used as a hook to get him enthusiastic about school?

Most people, I think, aren't really lazy: I mean, they don't want to spend their time just sitting with nothing to do. It's just that there are other things they'd rather do. Often things which give more immediate and instant rewards, like gaming.

I wonder: Is there a way to gamify his homework? Like by using something like HabitRPG? That might get at the not wanting-to-do-homework, and if the lying is only to get out of homework, then the lying (might) goes away, maybe.

I might recommend that you Ask MetaFilter, if you're comfortable with that. I've seen a lot of people get really good advice there, and it's easily anonymizable.