That reminds me, have people seen the comic about the artist who has Conan the Barbarian as a spirit guide?

I just copied that example comic to my desktop. Is the universe a worthy opponent? if not, laugh.

I may need to buy those books. Along with the collected Girl Genius, the full series of The Equalizer, along with . . .

msbelle, is there any way you could enlist the teacher's help? Have her send the assignments to you in an e-mail with a schedule for when they're due? Then you can have them ready for mac to do even if he doesn't bring it home.

edit for grammar

msbelle, do you know any ditch-diggers that you could loan mac out to over the summer, with the warning that if he refuses to apply himself to his education in any way he can look forward to a life of unskilled manual labor?

Sail - they will not do that in junior high, they say (and rightly so) that the kids have to learn to be responsible.

Matt, at 13, no, can't. But also, he would just perform poorly or sit down. Not even kidding.

What are the consequences for him if he fails? (not yours, I mean at school).

Also, what need is being met by not doing the work? And by the lying? What do you think he gets out of it?

Threats never ever worked on me as a kid. They just made me angry and dig in my heels.

msbelle, that model works for some kids, but it is highly dependent on personality. It does not sound to me like it would work at all with Mac. I mean, obviously keep being a good role model, but I think consequences are necessary. The hardest thing for me is consistency. When I am tired, I get lazy. And inconsistently enforced consequences I suspect are worse than none at all. Signed, my kid has been fighting us about brushing his teeth for 6 years now. Every. Night.

I should add, he is not failing. He failed 2 midterms, but semester grades are 2 As, 3 Bs, and 1 C.

Thing is he could easily have all As - AND he complains about the behavior of kids in his classes. I have told him over and over 1) not he nor I can control what other kids do. 2) the only way to get away from the kids is to get into the advanced classes.

Let him fail is one of the next options. Full on removal of direct consequence. House rules of 1 hour of screen time a night, 1 hour mandatory minimum of homework (you provide or I make up), 30 min trombone, 30 minutes reading. Bed by 8:30-9. I do not check grades, I do not hound.

I do not have it in me to give up all my tv and computer time to do things with him 3 hours a night.

Kat, he could get held back. If he fails a class for the 6 weeks he has mandatory tutoring. And then all the pathway consequences that he will be stuck in for the rest of high school.

so then I read an article like this: [link]

This article also uses an example of a non-parent working with a group of kids. Extremely different dynamic from a parent-child relationship.

I've gone through similar challenges with CJ. Consequences do NOTHING for him. Rewards do NOTHING for him. I've hit a point where I just point certain things out to him and let those chips fall where they may. I insist he helps keep the house clean but I don't go near his room. As long as there isn't anything growing in there that is. No dishes, no garbage. I know he is older but it has been a struggle for years with no good solution discovered. I keep reminding him that next year, in college, he is truly on his own for getting to and from class, doing his classwork, and striving for his goals.