Oh that's quite all right! I just thought it was an interesting coincidence, especially since you said you found it last night. I support being on a JGL kick, anytime, anywhere.

Woke up in the middle of the night and there are reports of widespread power outages in the area because the snow is so heavy and wet. Power's still on here. Pleeeeease let it stay that way...

My train was delayed 20 minutes due to switch problems. And we only had about four inches of snow. Apparently transit budgets here are too low so maintenance gets skimped on, hence the switches that get wonky with only a little snow.

Meanwhile, our new governor has proposed cutting two hundred million from the transit budget.

Our exact situation here in MA, tommyrot.

I am done with everything today. Leaking toilet in the master bath, which we discovered last night while painting said bath. It has soaked a section of the kitchen ceiling tiles, and I have no idea how long it's been happening. The watermark was there from the time I moved in, but I never checked to see if it was dry or not. Fuckery is happening with my county property taxes, and no one is taking responsibility. I've blistered my real estate agent and my mortgage broker over this. Someone has cost me over $100 in penalties and fees. I still don't have an answer as to whether the deed in lieu application for the Frederick house has been accepted. And I definitely need a new oil tank before the next winter heating season.

Work-wise? I have a bid due tomorrow. Neither Purchasing nor my boss is getting back to me with pricing or approvals. It needs to be FedExed by 5 pm.

In short, fuck the world. I don't want to be an adult anymore.

That's a lot, Maria. Argh.

I have a proposal to write that is theoretically due tomorrow (...or Monday), and I still don't have the details of what we're actually doing. So I have several pages of context and blah blah that I should be shaping up into a coherent argument that the details can just be slotted into, but that is also like pulling teeth! Just with myself, instead of with other people. Oy.

Submitted for your approval.

So, work-wise, how do you know the difference between giving up on a job because it's too hard and you can't handle it, versus choosing to move on because it's not a good fit?

Or does the difference matter?

I don't want to be someone who just gives up because something is hard and I'm not trying hard enough (or good enough). But maybe it's stupid to stay at a job that's too hard. And I can't tell if it's too hard or it's just not a good fit for me.

But maybe the difference doesn't matter if the end result is the same.

Steph, right now I have absolutely no perspective to give you a rational answer to that question, so I'm not even going to try. I do wish you clarity and a little peace of mind that things resolve themselves in the best way possible.

I'm leaning toward -- the difference doesn't matter if the end result is the same. I'm not sure what the point is in sticking with a job that feels like an uphill struggle and makes me cry at least once a week, just because I don't want to admit I don't have the skills to be good at this job. I'm afraid I'm a quitter, that I'm not willing to stick with something that's make-me-cry-weekly hard.

People leave their jobs all the time, so there are valid reasons to do that, right? Not a good fit, wanting to pursue a different path, wanting more opportunities. But "it's too haaaaaaaard" feels like the wrong reason. Like, if it's hard, then WORK HARDER.

And I legitimately can't tell if I want to quit because it's too hard or because it's not the right fit for me. But then I come back to: does the reason matter? Is there virtue in staying at a job that makes me cry, just so I can prove I'm not a quitter?