The very next email was from our ballerina heart surgeon, asking plaintively, "Has anyone seen my office? It seems to have gotten lost in the move. Kind of generic but functional. It has four walls and a door not made out of glass. If you find it, please drop it off at my cubicle."

Brilliant.

You guys, I am so scared about my office move!

I knew someone who discovered on moving day that the sellers had taken all the fixtures from the bathrooms, including the toilet paper holders.

I'll admit that I left my last house a mess. I was desperate to move and hadn't had an offer for months, so I felt I had to take an offer that was contingent on my being out of the house in a month. In that time, I had to buy a house, get my ex to take the rest of his stuff and pack all my stuff, which included thousands of books. I flat ran out of time. I felt sort of bad about it, but the fact that the buyers had been massive dicks helped soothe my conscience. It was the first time I hadn't left a place much cleaner than when I moved in.

"Has anyone seen my office? It seems to have gotten lost in the move. Kind of generic but functional. It has four walls and a door not made out of glass. If you find it, please drop it off at my cubicle."

Love. I want her for a doctor.

Today's latest news is that I have to replace my 275 gallon fuel oil tank sooner rather than later. It's over 50 years old and nicely rusted at the bottom. If there's a spill or leak, it turns in to a major environmental disaster that requires calling the Dept. of Environmental Protection and clean up fees that could run into the tens of thousands. A quick google tells me that replacing the tank is going to run me about $2100. There goes my tax refund.

Maria, at least it's something sexy, right? Fuel oil tanks are hawt.

Fuel oil tanks are hawt.

Totally.

(I see what you did there, missy.)

Funnies.

Are you sure your co-workers aren't going to surprise you with a going away something or other, Jess? In case leaving early would mess that up, I mean.

No, my leaving drinks were last week (with another co-worker who resigned a week earlier than I did).

In re moving: I have, in the past, made "happy moving day" baskets for friends. Contents will include (yes, a lightbulb), a flashlight, toilet paper, paper plates and plastic flatware and, since most of my friends are women, tampons.

This is an excellent idea!

Hiding Avengers Valentine cards all around the house is also a brilliant idea, and fair warning, I'm going to steal it the next time I have a SO on Valentine's Day.

Why does it always happen that the day my sister decides to come visit, my house is a wreck?

My house, even though it was a foreclosure, came with blinds installed in some of the windows (some broken, but there) and light fixtures in most of the rooms (bare wires in the bathroom and just no lights in the living room), light bulbs in most of the fixtures, plates on most of the switches and some of the outlets, and a working fridge. Not bad!

Today's latest news is that I have to replace my 275 gallon fuel oil tank sooner rather than later. It's over 50 years old and nicely rusted at the bottom. If there's a spill or leak, it turns in to a major environmental disaster that requires calling the Dept. of Environmental Protection and clean up fees that could run into the tens of thousands. A quick google tells me that replacing the tank is going to run me about $2100. There goes my tax refund.

50 years old!! We are usually forced to replace them after 10 years if outside and 15 if inside.

I admit, I got 6 on the Cosmo quiz. But that was by picking the worst names.