And in a completely separate post: msbelle birthday! May the coming year treat you kindly and gently.

bon is wise.

Happy birthday, msbelle. I hope today is filled with peace and love for you.

Happy birthday, msbelle. May this be a bright spot in your week.

I mentioned it on FB, but figured I'd pop in here as well—I'm going up to Vancouver this weekend for a ballroom competition. I'll be wearing a pink gown (no gingham, however), the shoes will be stilettos, not stompy boots, and it'll be waltzes and foxtrots, not krav, but you bet your ass the attitude I go out on the floor with will be fierce as hell.

I'll be thinking of ita as I dance and of course, all of you.

Allyson, unburden as much as you feel necessary, as everyone else said.

ita chose you because you are strong, but she also chose you because you have support here, I think.

That's great Barb.

Thanks, belle—and while I think Bev put it most beautifully, let me add my wishes for the best for you in the next year.

I hope, since she hadn't expressed as much where I could hear, that she hadn't given much thought to her privacy under these circumstances. She did, however, care a lot about not burdening people. She wouldn't want you to be overburdened for her sake.

Bon Bon makes a good point here.

Something else just occurred to me. You certainly COULD have chosen to let ita's parents be told through some sort of official channels. I bet that didn't even occur to you as a possibility. You did it yourself as an act of love, as the actions of a good friend. In some ways, telling her parents yourself was the last thing you could do for her personally and you did it unblinkingly.

If talking about it will help you, you can talk. If something feels too private, you can go back and nuke it and ask anyone who read it to not discuss it further.

A facebook "friend" posted this ED Doctor's screed today and it is taking all of my strength not to respond in anger [link]

However, I have to remember that anger is not my strong suit- I don't usually sound righteous, I sound deranged, and I am unlikely to convince anyone. I am much better with the "finding common ground"

But I am already angry about how ita was treated at the ED, and this was written by an actual doctor and being spread to the common people as truth. Yes, our system is broken if the only way that poor people can get care is to go to the ED. But first of all, not everyone in the emergency room is poor! Maybe some are having an emergency!!!

You certainly COULD have chosen to let ita's parents be told through some sort of official channels.

That's true. When DH died I didn't think I could deal with telling his mother and I let the police do it. They did not do it well and I have regretted that ever since.