Ooh, ooh, I'm totally picturing msbelle shaking her wee fists of rage at the sky...

I AM PERFECTLY NORMAL SIZED!

Does she stomp her little feet too?

If any gifters have still not been able to get packages off, please let me know.

guiltily raises hand

But it's being mailed this weekend!

Right? I never thought she'd figure that out.#IamnotSpartacus

I thought he had some help from a certain Captain Tightpants? Or was that a story he made up to throw her off the trail?

Dear Mr. Douglas,

I was recently a participant in an online Secret Santa gift exchange. I have participated in this exchange for many years and have been a part of this very close online community for 14 years.

You might, at this point, be wondering what any of this has to do with you. A very good question. This year I received fantastic gifts. A t-shirt featuring the cover of one of my favorite books "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston, a fun and playful totebag from Disney featuring the faces of Mickey and Minnie, a refrigerator magnet with logo and images from our online community, and many many many cards. That last one requires more of an explanation.

You see, for several years, I have acted as host of the exchange and I urge people to send noted and smallish gifts before a big gift. I encourage people to get assistance from other participants and friends to mail things from various addresses. I think the intrigue and mystery of a Secret Santa gift exchange is heightened by these touches and it raises the level of enjoyment for all involved.

So, my Santa this year, it seems took all this very much to heart and he or she (but I believe she as there was only one male participant), solicited the help of many many of the online community, more than just those participating in the exchange. She had them send me cards. I received more than 30 Holiday cards between Thanksgiving/Hanukkah and New Years and over 20 general notecards. Some of these "helpers" signed their names, some did not, but all made it clear that they were asked to do it by my Santa.

You must still be wondering how this connects to you, Yes, let me get to that. I do apologize for the length, I have been told I go on a bit.

It is customary in our exchange to reveal yourself either in the main gift or online once that gift is received. Perhaps some have chosen not to reveal over the years, but it is not generally the practice. Since none of my gifts had a note in them I was hoping/expecting to find out the identity of my Santa online. I let it be known that I was still awaiting a name, none came. What happened instead was an homage to the pivotal scene in your classic film, Spartacus. Everyone implied that they were my Santa. They eventually actually starting writing "I am Spartacus". So as absurd and unlikely as it seems (and I know), I posted to them all, that they must be trying to tell me, that you, the great actor Kirk Douglas, were somehow my Secret Santa.

That sir, is why I write you today. To put down in words the gratitude for my gifts, and the efforts made to make this an unforgettable Secret Santa exchange. It may make no sense on the surface, but surely there are things you have done in your life that went unthanked, unappreciated. We all have those, I think. So Mr. Douglas, consider this a thank you for that item you gave, that time you spent, that unknown thing you did to help someone or brighten their day. THANK YOU! It meant the world to them, just as my gifts this year have meant the world to me.

OMG, OMG, OMG

I just got the following message and I'm so excited to pass it along...

Dear msbelle, Thank you for the kind note. Your community wanted to make sure that you knew how much your hard work, diligence, and sense of fun are appreciated. You truly are the nicest. There is one more gift coming, which I hope will lay to rest all of your questions. Sincerely, Spartacus (I mean Kirk)

PS. Captain Tightpants says hello.

BTW, Mr. Douglas, this has been a wonderful gift for the rest of us, too!

I AM DUBIOUS!

I think you spelled impatient wrong.

you are on the list twice with pointy arrows and underlined, missy!