Tom, I'm so sorry.

t's like, I feel fine with my own day-to-day, but I feel bad that I don't have a kid for my dad to play with.

I will always be thankful that a handful of my friends had babies at the right time for my mom to play grandma with them. Both my parents were always okay with my choice to not have kids, but my mom LOVED babies, and would get a little wistful about not having any around.

(Relatedly: thank you, Plei. Because.)

Ugh Tom, I'm sorry.

And shrift, that's great about quitting.

I can hardly take part in the mid life crisis discussion because it's hitting me in that place, you know? I think it's my sister's illness.

I took a rare day off today to stretch out the great weekend, and spent the afternoon seeing good indie films before meeting my former roomie for the coupon-cheapened Brazillian steakhouse. I am now stuffed full of a solid pillar of very tasty beef from chest to waistline.

Oh, Tom, I'm sorry. ::hairpats::

I am sufficiently recovered from the horrible vertigo that I could even have ice cream after dinner. Thank goodness. I never want to go through that again.

Now I have to figure out how to get to the office tomorrow, and still pick up my Dad for his appointment.

I just found out (right before I have to go to sleep) that a former student who has been missing since February actually did most likely commit suicide, and her body was found today in the Hudson River. I am just sick. I really knew in my heart that was what had happened, but all the students seemed so hopeful, and were posting messages to her as soon as last week. Also, I am overreacting to my boss posting "please do look at our Facebook page and join the XXXX Group" in his post about her, although I think he probably just meant it so they could see the video tribute to her. But I also can't get over that he told her he could not "in good conscience" give her a recommendation as a stage manager, even though I thought she was very good, although I told her to always call/give me for a recommendation, she never did. And one of her reasons given was that she could not find work in the arts. She was an actress too, so I am sure that was not even a contributing factor, but I was mad abou it before this even happened.

oh Sophia, that's terrible.

Oh, Sophia, I'm so sorry.

Oh Sophia, how sad.

I'm glad you are feeling better, Consuela. Hope you figure out the logistics for tomorrow.

Harvey just crawled into my arms as I was reading your post, Sophia. He's purring like he is working hard to send you comfort. We're certainly sending the best vibes we can for your strength of heart.

I have to put the Facebook down, because all her young friends grieving so much, and their hopes being shattered is also very painful to me. I also worked with her as an actor several times, and when you do costumes you become very one-sidedly intimate with people-- you get to know them, both their body and their person, and especially their vulnerabilities so well that it is weirdly hard to think of that person only identifiable by tattoos.