Someone looked at our house in Washington!

This may not sound very exciting, but it's the closest we've been to actually selling it in a while.

I could cry over my hair, and I'm not even changing hair styles. I love my hair, but I don't like at all how it looks now. It's thinned so much in the front, for reasons unknown, that it makes me want to cry when I look at myself. I don't know what to do about that; wearing bangs with curly hair is deeply problematic. I got it dyed "professionally" and even though the stylist and I discussed how my dry hair would just soak up the dye, my desired dark brown came out black. Goth black. Which is great if you WANT Goth black, not so much if you don't. There's nothing to do about too-black hair except cut it off and grow it out and cut it off, until the black is gone. And what do I do with my salt-and-pepper roots until then? I keep thinking about cutting it really really short and wearing a wig until it all grows out gray, and then just going with the gray. What's wrong with gray, anyway? And it's SO dry and frizzy, and there's not enough hot oil treatment in the world to fix it. I don't know.

have you tried a mayonnaise paste and wrapping it in a warm towel? or hair creams, like from Carol's daughter? mac has super dry hair too and he only used conditioner on his hair, very very rarely shampoo.

Ah, the thinning hair. I was casually looking at a mirror and realized I could clearly see the curve of my skull through the front of my hair. It makes me want to attaempt ita's hair.

I have a lot of hair and it is a PITA

Hair is so fucking loaded for us negresses, you know? I had a debate with my sister about finding meaning in response to your hair--is not liking your afro internalising the beauty message, when you prefer the more uncombed look that shows your curl off better like all the "natural" mavens tell you to enhance with hours of prepping and twisting and almost as much shit as I used to feed my Jheri.

Zenkitty, this may be totally useless advice, but how often do you shampoo your hair? Are you using shampoo & conditioner that have sulfates and parabens?

It makes me want to attaempt ita's hair.

Come on over! It's the simplest!

Do you have a Lush near you?

I have a lot of suggestions for dry hair that's curly if you want me to let loose. I think you should start with putting shea butter on your hair every night and wrapping your hair in a scarf. I know that sounds ridiculous, but Target has a really good shea butter for hair (Miss Jessie's baby butter) that smells okay. If you put a generous amount on your hair, pull it back and wrap in a scarf every night, that will help keep moisture in your hair.

FWIW, I've heard from female friends with thinning hair that women can get a prescription for that whatchamacallit drug that men use for balding heads -- with rather more success, and fewer side effects. Might be worth checking out.

I cut 6 inches off my hair for GISHWHES (and more than that in one spot that I can no longer find, in order to string a bow with which to play a violin). As I was preparing to do so, I realized that I was having an emotional reaction (my hair is still a few inches past collar-bone length). Now, for me, that is an indication that it was definitely time to cut it*, but I'm weird. There is a shitton of baggage around hair (different baggage for non-black women, but still baggage). There is both the perception and, to some extent, the reality that men will find women attractive or not based on the length of their hair. It is not an accident that every anglo Disney Princess has long hair.

* In general, I let my hair grow until either I start getting massive tangles at the back of my neck or I need to cut it for a show.