I need to get off my ass and work out. Also, I have accomplished zero today. Ugh. But I want to go dance, which would mean I have to leave here around 6--I'm already not going to the lessons, which I really should if I want to get better. But I'm so sleeeeeeeepy. Probably working out would help with that, but...

Sobriety checks I totally understand, but on a Sunday morning, blocking off three lanes of traffic? That seems weird to me.

Maybe working out will energize you for dancing?

I am all melty and feeling like it's too hot to do anything, but it's only 75F, so I don't even know. Have started Operation Bribe Rabbits to Tolerate Being Held through Judicious Application of Carrots. Too early to tell if that's effective, but they don't seem traumatized, and the carrots are eaten.

If it were a weekday morning, I'd be wondering if this was another political payback thing, like Chris Christie and the access lanes to the bridge. That wouldn't make much sense on a Sunday morning, though.

so apparently my parents are planning on moving out of Texas when they downsize. This is why they keep saying they'll probably stay in their (way too big) house until E graduates high school.

Why the hell couldn't they move before I left NY? I could have avoided moving back to Texas.

So yes, I am neck deep in a resentment pool of bad mood. They have never been the steady source of support/help with E that I have wanted or needed. I have to ask every single time I want anything which is exhausting and also completely demoralizing for me.

I am not at all doing well with just accepting where I am and finding a way to be happy. I hate where I am. The people I get along with here I hardly ever get to see. People like Daisy who I would love to hang out with are too far away to easily see and life and schedules and fuck all.

I'm so sorry, msbelle. I would be resentful, too. Would it be terrible for you to move now/soon?

Catching up on Grey's. That was quite a bombshell at the end. And a nice sendoff - I was really afraid they were gonna pull a ghost Yang. It'll be interesting to see if I still like this show next season with all the cast changes. Kevin McKidd can sure show a lot of emotion around a surgical mask.

Oh, msbelle, so frustrating. Come to Colorado?

Today has been a struggle just to keep plodding. My mouth still hurts - sore from the root canal, sore from something else, and I haven't found the balance of pain meds to dull the pain but not make me loopy. Tomorrow I head out to SLC for my monthly trip. Traveling and mouth pain just make me anxious. Leaving the house to run errands took every ounce of functioning I had. And I'm working today to make up for the work I won't be able to do while I'm in SLC.

The kitties have been supportive at least.

Ugh, msbelle. Are you committed to seeing E through HS there?

That's hard, msbelle. It's sad that they haven't been the support you imagined, anyway.

Oh msbelle. That's tough. Are you thinking of moving?

I will not move E again. He is happy.

Who knows what my reality will be in 5 more years? So while I assume I will move to wherever my heart desires, who knows? I'll be 48 and will have to consider what looking for a job in a new place would be like. It all just sucks.