Hil, it's a Reform COngregation. The webpage for bar/bat mitzahs say they welcome all family members to participate in the ceremony, regardless of religious affiliation, and they customize the ceremony with the kid's input, so I think it's up to M. He's a doll, and loves all of his parents, so I'm happy to participate or to witness, whatever HE wants.

What roles might a parent-figure play in the ceremony? Do family members give speeches or toasts at the after-party? As long as I wear a modest dress, are bright colors or such verboten? Do parents just pay for the party, or is an additional gift to the child de riguer?

There are lots of things that you could do at the ceremony. Sometimes parents give speeches there. You could also lead the congregation in a reading in English for one of the prayers, or something like that. At a Reform congregation, you don't really need to worry about dress rules at all. I'd avoid anything sleeveless, or with too short a skirt or too low a neckline, but you don't really need to worry too much about that.

The usual thing done at the party is that they bring out a cake with 13 candles, and the bar/bat mitzvah kid gets a microphone and calls 13 people (or small groups of people) up to each light one of the candles. Usually, the parents write something for him to read about how each person is special to him. (This is to avoid what happened at one bar mitzvah, where the kid was just given the list of names, and he introduced my parents with, "I don't really know them -- they're friends with my parents.)

As for gifts, I'm not sure.

Artichokes: I find them to be great appetizers, not only are they nummy when dipped on butter, but the fact that they take awhile to eat makes them great for staving hunger before the main course while also not filling you up.

Stuffed artichokes, however, are nasty dirty wrong things.

Never had artichokes.

Came back after another meeting, and he ison the phone talking about varsity this junior that, and the woman in the cube behind him was the very picture of exasperation. Poor thing. At least I wasn't here.

I like my artichokes stuffed.

[link]

I just don't even understand that. I've only tried stuffed artichokes a couple of times, and they are okay, I guess, but not really better than non-stuffed artichokes and I'd rather have my stuffing inside a bird soaking up all those juices.

The thing that intrigues me about roasting artichokes (besides how roasting is inherently deliciousness enhancing) is that you slice the artichokes in half and scoop out the prickly thready bits you don't eat before you roast. Wacky, but if it's really not hard and works, pretty cool.

I like my artichokes cooked by somebody else, with all the inedible bits already removed.

egad ita, that guy needs something else to think about.

Those stuffed artichokes look delicious, but they look like work to prepare. But I will happily eat one if someone else will make it for me. See also: homemade ravioli and spanikopita.

Craig Ferguson is leaving the Late Late Show in December. Sad now.

Erin, your approach sounds very reasonable, and how they often suggest parents do for weddings, all "I can give you $X, and if you want to spend more, that's your money". Good luck, from what you've said about her before I'm sure there'll be drama. :(

In other news, I can haz roommate! Old one is moving out, but a friend came to see the place tonight and said it'll work great, she loves the location, so she's going to move in in July. That'll leave me without a roommate in June, but I'm willing to do that in exchange for having a roommate I know and like. Excellent.

Yay, meara!

That's a bummer, Amy. I don't even watch the Late Late Show but I'm sad to hear it.