Thanks guys. I know I'm taking it selfishly, but I am parsing it through my knowledge of my mother's experience, and seeing her in Crazy Cousin O's (we have a few relatives that are known as Crazy Cousin ...they are by no means the craziest of the cousins--they are the ones to whom we express affection about their craziness) place is terrifying.
Cousin O was fairly isolated from the kraken that is my extended family. I didn't meet her until I drove to LA and stopped in ABQ to see her. She's definitely a woman who impacted the world around her, and I am sure she will leave a great hole in the lives of the people close to her.
On a totally different note: Reason to go shopping with Neil De Grasse Tyson OR the right answer to "What's up with chicks and science?"
The only thing that is wrong with that is that I wonder what the woman on the panel next to him would have said.
Love him!
Just got back from an Easter egg hunt. It was actually terrifying. They released the kids in waves by age. By the time they got to the 4th graders, it was NUTS. They looked like a field of locusts.
Oh my god, I don't understand how I've turned into such a dick. When I talk to my dad on the phone, 80% of our conversations turn in to me yelling at him because he misunderstands something and I try to explain it. But when I explain it, he just repeats the misunderstood thing over and over -- with the exact same phrasing, like he's reading from a cue card -- and so I try to phrase the explanation in a different way so that it gets through to him...but then he repeats the misunderstood thing yet again and THEN I start yelling. (Not, like, insulting him; just repeating MY explanation, but at a high volume, with extreme frustration. Still, it's yelling. At my dad. When all I'm really trying to do is help.)
Truly, I am the poster child for Don't Be Like This Kid.
I have no idea how to break this cycle. Tim told me that, after the first instance where he misunderstands my explanation, I need to just say "Okay, do [whatever]," and let it drop. And he's right. But I'm so fucking stubborn, and I'm trying to *help*, ISTG, I'm not just being a dick. If he's misunderstanding something, I don't want him to experience negative consequences that could be avoided.
But in the end, I *am* being a dick, because I just keep yelling, even though it's unproductive. Awesome.
(I just got off the phone with Dad. I want to punch myself in the face for being such a dick. Of course, he followed it up with yelling at me for not getting my NOT HIGH cholesterol re-tested yet.)
Aw, Tep. Don't beat yourself up. You're a fantastic daughter. But Tim's probably right about disengaging after a certain point. I know that's hard to do, though.
But Tim's probably right about disengaging after a certain point.
Oh, he is. I totally agree.
I know that's hard to do, though.
But there's that.
Don't beat yourself up, Tep. That sounds incredibly frustrating. And that's a hard line to draw, between pushing to help when yo know it's not doing any good, and not helping when maybe you could.
I almost forgot - saw a pheasant over by the nature preserve this morning! One of the few birds I am pretty confident about identifying, so it pleases me to spot one.
Do not punch yourself in the face!
I just did a very little bit of yard work and garage cleanup, on my theory that doing a little right now is better than waiting until I can Do All The Work. So that's something.
I installed new memory in dad's laptop, but I suspect we'll have to replace it soon, maybe with a tablet. And I discovered that his retiree medical plan is being shut down, so this week I have to figure out which of the new plans he should sign up for.
Meanwhile, I'm in Home Despot getting paint samples because I'm thinking of painting my bookshelves before I bring them back in the house... the paint department here is so tempting!
Has your dad always kinda been that way, Steph?
