My Dad's anger is why I'm in therapy. It's why I have such crippling self-esteem issues.

I'm not really good at dealing with other people being angry. Or, at least, with them yelling or shouting or calling people names or any of that stuff. That just didn't happen in my house when I was a kid -- I can count on one hand the number of times I can remember somebody shouting at someone else (well, other than us kids shouting at each other). I kind of don't know how to cope with that stuff -- people getting visibly obviously angry just freaks me out, because it's such an unfamiliar situation and I don't know how to deal with it.

Hil describes it best. My family never yelled or showed anger. It was a real world shock when I encountered people that did and I never understood or got used to it.

When DH and his brother and friends are playing sports they will seem to me that they are angry and upset with each other, but they tell me that is just how they play. I have to remove myself because it is just upsetting to me.

I'm with Hil. The anger style in my house was cold and based on cutting each other out. Hubby's family's style is yelling, maybe with some throwing involved. I was not accepted until I proved willing to yell right back at them, then they allowed me to withdraw from the field of battle when the yelling broke out. Till then I was that mousy creature who wasn't worthy of being in the family.

But it is deeply unpleasant when people start yelling at each other or being vicious.

When DH and his brother and friends are playing sports they will seem to me that they are angry and upset with each other, but they tell me that is just how they play.

It's a problem I have with the Iron Man movies, Tony and Pepper snarking at each other, and I only see "These people only seem to insult each other or are angry with each other! Why are they together?" instead of affection or sexy sparks.

I can't handle people being angry, because -- no surprise -- my mom was not exactly a healthy model of expressing feelings. She was allowed to lose her shit in an epic manner at whoever was within reach and unleash all manner of abuse, but we were never, EVER, allowed to be angry in return (or even protest the bullshit hurled our way). I still have a hard time expressing anger towards someone. (I get angry about situations, with no problem. But never towards someone. Ever.)

It's a problem I have with the Iron Man movies, Tony and Pepper snarking at each other, and I only see "These people only seem to insult each other or are angry with each other! Why are they together?"

But I have no problem with differentiating snark from anger. I express a lot of my affection through snark, and expect it in return. (Tim, I think, would prefer a little less snark, but I would also prefer it if, when I tearfully ask him why he married me and if I have any redeeming qualities whatsoever, he didn't answer -- in all seriousness -- "You make good scones", so I think we'll call it even.)

I'm an angry person. I work to control it, but even so it wasn't until this year that I came to terms with some of the ways it was negatively affecting the SO. I have an angry friend, the only person I've ever met who is angrier than me, and I sometimes wish I could fight with him to work some of it out harmlessly.

I am weirdly comfortable with anger, both my own and other people's. It's a feeling that arises and passes away. It does annoy me that my angry tears are generally misinterpreted by the world, but that's a different issue, I think.

I am pretty angry and I am quick to anger. SHOCKER!

I sometimes wish I could fight with him to work some of it out harmlessly.

That actually works? When I have an actual fight with Hubby, the bad feeling lingers and gets added to whatever sparked the fight.